Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Top Seinfeld Guest Characters

You know you've been waiting for it. You've been asking yourself how long it was going to take me to release the definitive assessment of the best Seinfeld minor characters of all time. Everyone has their favorite major character: The wacky Kramer, the neurotic George, the self-important Elaine, and the smug Jerry. But some of the best comedy to come out of this series came from the fantastic minor characters that were so important to the show's overall story. It is my pleasure to finally bring to the masses your top ten - in reverse order.

10)Uncle Leo

Uncle Leo is the annoying old coot relative that we all have in our family. He always greets you with an over-zealous hug, he brags about his own children, and bores you with horror stories about dead family members or physical ailments. In many cases these characters are as annoying as they are intended to be but the talents of Len Lesser manage to make Uncle Leo annoying to Jerry but enjoyable to the viewer. Uncle Leo appeared in 15 episodes making him one of the top ten most frequented characters to the series.

9)Mr. Pitt

Mr. Pitt was Elaine's boss for two episodes in the sixth season. But his impact on the series included eight episodes. This eccentric millionaire is obsessed with the right pair of socks, eating Snickers bars with a knife and fork, and terrified of fountain pens. These idiosyncrasies (among others) made the character an unpredictable and zany side-show and was cause for much hardship on Elaine. One of the most notable moments for this character is when a bizarre string of circumstances (including a brush with some black shoe-polish) lead Mr. Pitt to making a stock-holders presentation while looking like Adolph Hitler while not even being aware of it.

8) The Soup Nazi

While the Soup Nazi only appears in two episodes (The Soup Nazi & The Finale) this character left an indelible mark on the psyche of Seinfeld fans everywhere. Like most great creations from this series, The Soup Nazi is bizarre and yet realistic in his own crazy way. And with just a dash of the outlandish, The Soup Nazi represents all that was great about the series in its prime. Everyone who loved the show remembers fondly the way in which each of the main characters reacted to the dictatorial style of the Soup Nazi, thinking he was immune to the need for customer relations because his soup was so unique. Until Elaine got hold of his recipes.

7) Sue Ellen Mischke

The O'Henry Candy Bar heiress made wearing undergarments as outer-garments fashionable. She is the perfect combination of terrible and beautiful. Elaine sees Sue Ellen as an intense rival, compelling Elaine to lash out in unpredictable ways. Her most notable moments in the series occur when she wears only a bra for a top, causing Kramer to crash his car. She also invites the main cast to India for her wedding, only to find out that Elaine and the groom had a relationship together in the past. Sue Ellen also makes an appearance in my personal favorite episode: The Bottle Deposit (Parts 1 and 2). In this pivotal scene, Sue Ellen tempts Elaine into bidding on JFK's golf clubs at a price she cannot afford.

6) Jackie Chiles

Arguably a comedic "jab" at the then famous Johnny Cochran, Jackie Chiles is the slick defense attorney always out to make a quick buck. If Kramer were drug addict than Jackie would have been his "pusher." Unlike most, Jackie always took Kramer seriously and would provide the legal support to any of Kramer's schemes that required it. Well spoken, well dressed, and always available to the ladies, Jackie was a slick used car salesman with a law degree. Most notable moments include assisting Kramer in law suits against a major coffee company, the Oh Henry candy bar company, and the tobacco industry. It is also testament to the acting chops of Phil Morris that he plays a central role in the Seinfeld series finale.

5) Estelle Costanza

No two characters better explain the ball of neurosis that is George Costanza. This over-baring, melodramatic, hot-headed mother is often times the source of her son's frustration with life. But at the same time Mrs. Costanza is an endearing character who, more often than not, is the voice of reason in episodes where she appears. Her most notable moments include being groped by Kramer to the disdain of her husband and her constant bickering with said husband. But perhaps more important than anything, Estelle is a central figure in the single most famous episode of the Seinfeld series. Estelle is the one to walk in on her son while he is abusing himself to a Glamour magazine. This family trauma later sparks the conversation between the main characters that leads to "The Contest."

4) J. Peterman

The owner and chief executive of the J. Peterman Catalog company, Jacopo Peterman is a world traveler and salesman of upscale clothing. Based on a real person, Peterman is a dashing yet eccentric man who is prone to verbal rabbit trails that take him down memory lane. Appearing in an astounding 21 episodes, Peterman has the distinction of being one of the most repeated characters in the show's history. Peterman represents what he perceives as the ideal in man: nobel, brave, well spoken, and not the least bit humble. Like most of the great secondary characters in the series, he starts off as a counter-point to just one of the main characters but eventually becomes intertwined with each over the course of the series. His most notable moments really come from his bizarre perspective on life.

Mr. Peterman: I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You've tested positive for opium.
Elaine: [astonished] Opium?
Mr. Peterman: That's right. White Lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.

3) David Puddy

The on-again-off-again boyfriend of Elaine who at first glance seams like your stereotypical man. Elaine is initially drawn to Puddy because he is tall, handsome, and works with his hands. At one point in the series she even decides to start dating him again simply because she needs a dresser moved in her house. But it is Puddy's intricate personality that makes him such a dynamic character and the reason for his 11 appearances in the series. Between being a closet germaphobe, his love of New Jersey Devil Ray Hockey, Arbys, and his religious conviction, Puddy proves to be more than just a "strong-man" character. Perhaps if a lesser actor had portrayed the role the Puddy character might never have been given the time to develop but Patrick Wharburton pulls off the delicate balance of macho exterior with a sensitive soul. Ultimately Puddy's departing moment encapsulates his time on the series when Elaine tells him not to wait for her after she is sentenced to jail. His response: "Okay."

2) Frank Coztanza

The Costanza patriarch is one of the single most funniest characters in the entire series. Like his wife, he is over-baring, melodramatic, and hot headed, making them a match made in heaven. Only their similarities create massive tension between the couple causing many a temporary break-up over the course of the series. Never fear, the eternal love they share always lead them back together. Where Frank edges out his wife on this list is his eccentricities. He is far more bizarre and ultimately one of the most entertaining secondary players. His most notable moments are his fear of cooking, despite his culinary prowess, his envy of Christmas and the ultimate holiday that he creates: Festivus, and his entrepreneur venture with Kramer, the "Bro" ... or was it the "Manzeere?"

1) Newman



This disgruntled postal worker was the ying to Jerry's yang, the Lex Luthor to his Superman, the Moriarty to his Sherlock Holmes. Appearing in almost twice as many episodes as any other single character, Newman came as close to being a regular cast member as you could get. Best friends to Kramer, enemy of Jerry, secret admirer of Elaine, and afterthought to George, Newman permeated every corner of the Seinfeld universe. Some of the greatest episodes included a pivotal role for the Newman character. The most notable moments included the bottle deposit scheme with Kramer, infecting Jerry's apartment with fleas, and convincing Jerry to help him improve his standing at the post office so that he might be considered for a transfer to Hawaii. It goes without saying that the talented skills of Wayne Knight were instrumental in bringing this character to life and making him the enemy we all love to hate.

7 comments:

Cyber D said...

Why do you say that? Did you love the Crocodile Hunter or do you just hate Seinfeld?

Cyber D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Q said...

nope its free

Nate said...

yay! upgraded!

Nate said...

and rock on Puddy!

"I'm not the one going to hell"

Q said...

Thank you CyberD : )

Cyber D said...

"You stole my Jesus Fish!"