Pirates 3 Review - Spoiler Alert

I finally saw the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie last week and I have to say... It was fantastic! I loved it! The pace is quick the story-telling is sharp, and the twists and turns are pleasantly unexpected. Jeffrey Rush has a flare for the humorous while remaining menacing. Johnny Depp continues to delight in a role that has great risk of becoming trite and repetitive after three films. And Chow Yun-Fat injects a new element of vile danger without making the cast feel bloated. The filming is dark, as is the script, costumes, and overall tone of the story, but this is to be expected. After the conclusion of Pirates 2, I think all fans knew it was going down this road.



Some of the high-points for me include a magnificent opening fight sequence in Singapore, a surreal and creepy depiction of Davey Jones' Locker, the duplicitous double-crossing of various characters, and a visually stimulating portrayal of the Pirate Lords that range from Chinese thugs to French bandits to Arabian thieves. And I have to say I'm not too disappointed in the somewhat predictable ending for Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan.

Now for some criticism.

My biggest problem with the film was the introduction and use of the Calypso character. Supposedly Pirates 2 and 3 were written simultaneously and if this is the case, why does the introduction of the Sea Goddess feel so random? Could her role in the overall story not have been worked more smoothly into the fabric of the overall mythos? Additionally, I am still perplexed why Captain Soa Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) mistakes Elizabeth Swan for the human form of Calypso and how Captain Barbossa (Rush) appears to know better from the very start.



Of course the Sea Goddess' role in the films is given more weight as you learn why she was forced to bring Barbossa back from the dead, but if both Barbossa and Sparrow each hold a position as one of the nine Pirate Lords... why was one serving the other on The Black Pearl prior to the first film?

In addition to plot problems such as these, I find it boardering on retarded the way the action in this series goes from the (larger-than-life) theatrical to the ridiculous (ala Matrix/Charlie's Angels)! I know... I know... I can suspend my disbelief for the walking dead and supernatural monsters, but I cannot allow my brain to believe that mere humans can swoop from the masts of various different pirate ships all within the swirling winds of a hurricane!

It is also perplexing to me why the giant sea-battle we expect at the end comes down to the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman fighting it out over a maelstrom. Then both ships turn on the British flag-ship blowing it to smithereens, Die Hard style. Apparently this is enough to take the "wind out of the sales" of the entire British Armada and sends them packing!



Finally I understand that Turner and Swan needed to get married for the ending of the movie to work, but I am stupefied as to why it needed to be in the middle of a sea-battle. It just felt silly.

So in conclusion, as you can see, I feel this movie really sucked. I mean... badly! I hated it.