Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Top 5 Greatest Movies You've Never Seen

I saw The Wrestler last month. If you've seen it you should agree with me that it was most awesome. I hadn't seen Mickey Rorke in anything good since... well, I hadn't seen him in anything since I last rented Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. Now that movie kicked serious bootie. And that got me thinking about some great movies that you've never seen. So let's begin.

5) Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man


You know those action movies with the straight laced hero and his wild and crazy hero friend? That's not this movie. Take out the bland hero and replace him with another wild-ass, butt kickin', crazy in the head alcoholic who is fighting to save one man's daughter against a band of rabid drug lords who have no idea who they're messing with and you have this rockin' 80's movie gone wild!

4) Face/Off


This is a movie with one of the most ludicrous premises I've ever heard of and I love it. It really is a guilty pleasure at the top of my list along with Maria Carey and Sour Patch Kids. You know that movie about the never say die police hero up against the crazy terrorist? That's not this movie. But if you take those two characters and surgically swap their faces along with relative body hair and vocal chords and then plop them into each other's respective worlds then you have one of the most guns-blazing, window shattering, compound-bone-fracturing, movies of its time.

3) Rosencrance and Gildenstern are Dead


You know that movie about two dumb ass retards that travel the countryside getting into all sorts of ridiculous trouble? No, not Dumb and Dumber... well kind of. This is if Shakespeare wrote Dumb and Dumber, and it's a damn fine flick. With Gary Oldman and Tim Roth playing the title characters you get two of the most dark and twistedly talented actors playing against type and making high English writing actually sound funny. Rent this!

2) Diggstown


You know that movie about the con man who changes his ways after falling in love in small town America. Take that movie and throw in a vicious rural tycoon, a very young and up and coming Heather Graham, and more double crosses than a twizzler and you have this movie. That and Louis Gossett Junior kicks ass.

1) Fandango


There really isn't a comparison for this film. As best I can say it's the first Bro-Mance before there was such a thing. As funny as The Hangover is... this is better. Plus it's probably the only Kevin Costner movie worth a damn. It's at the top of my list, isn't that enough for you to rent it?

Merry Christmas!

3 comments:

Susan said...

I would go watch the ones of these I haven't seen however the last time someone said "This is one of the greatest movies ever made and you haven't seen it!" I ended up watching 2 hours of Jeremiah Johnson.

M. Robert Turnage said...

You think people have never seen Face/Off? Really? That movie made about $250 million worldwide box office plus whatever the DVD made. Do you also want to tell me about this obscure John Travolta musical no one has heard of named 'Grease'?

I would replace 'Face/Off' with 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang'. Other than that, your list is good. 'Fandango' reminds me of what is good about Texas.

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