Talent or Doo-Doo Pants?

I was talking to Gyuss on the phone the other day and we were commenting on the greatness of the movie Fandango. You can go to The Cave of Gyuss to see a few clips from this masterpiece. On a related note we were speculating if Kevin Costner had even five movies to his credit that would fall into the category of greatness. Even more specifically does he have even one good movie to his credit where he is the singular hero (and not simply a single piece of a larger ensemble cast).


So I now submit to you facts:


The top 5 Costner movies that are considered good but Costner's still crap

5. Tin Cup - There are a few guys that like this movie because they think it's about golf. They could not be more wrong. What it's really about is Kevin's terrible hair-piece and how many times he can say "golly-shucks" with his eyes to Rene Russo.

4. Waterworld - Arguably the only sci-fi credit to his name. This had lots of action, explosions, and Denis Hopper. Well... two out of three ain't bad I suppose, but this dud's worldwide gross barely covered production costs.

3. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves - Two words: Accent Coach! Could the man not even try to have an English accent? By this time Costner was in his prime and really mailing it in. What a douche! The only reason this movie has any legs at all is because of the greatness of Alan Rickman.

2. The Bodyguard - Talk about a meteoric rise of one of the greatest singers in pop-music history. At the height of Whitney's popularity this movie burst onto the scene grossing more than $400 million world wide. I think we can all agree that Witney is the first, last, and only reason this movie is half-way good.

1. Dances with Wolves - Winner of 7 Oscars, one being best picture. Costner plays the single solitary lead about an epic tale of write and wrong in the American west. What is there not to love? How about that glaring error in the film when three birds flying over head are identified as geese when in reality there were cranes? What a continuity disaster!


The REAL top 5 Costner movies


5. Bull Durham - Perhaps one of the best baseball movies ever made. While Coster's role is arguably the lead, he still plays more of an ensemble character to the larger story. Great film but not just because of him.

4. The Untouchables - Perhaps one of the best mafia/cop movies ever made. Coster's role is sound but again, he's just one piece of an ensemble cast that includes Sean freakin' Connery.

3. Silverado - Perhaps one of the best cowboy movies ever made. Coster's role is great but he plays the smallest part of a very formidable ensemble cast.

2. Fandango - Perhaps one of the best college buddy movies ever made. Coster's role is one of the best in his career but still only an ensemble role.

1. Field of Dreams - Perhaps THE best baseball movie ever made. And Coster stands alone as the show's focal point and hero. Way to go, Kev!


There you have it, folks. If the measure of greatness is a single piece of work than Coster is up there with the greats, plus he has a few decent films where he plays a critical ensemble role. But time would indicate that this actor does not get better with age... in fact he may be spoiling over time.

Cyber D's Bottom Line: Costner is a Doo-Doo Pants actor.