Many of you have expressed genuine concern for the where abouts of one Dagromm Q. Flailbreath, otherwise known as Dags. There is much speculation going on over at The House of Dagromm as his usual string of postings has now completely ceased all together. As many of you know, The Crotch Wizards are a very tight group and we keep each other on speed-dial at all times. With Q in the hospital and Gyuss trapped inside the Big Monkey Comics back-room (doing God knows what), it was up to me to get down to the bottom of this.
With his busy new job, my first thought was that he had barricaded himself at his office so that's where I headed first. Much to my surprise I ran into Big Dirty pacing back and forth in the lobby. Apparently Big Dirty hadn't seen Dags in two weeks and Dirty had finally snapped. He did not greet me with his usual, "Hell yeah!" In fact he didn't greet me at all. He only continued his pacing back and forth, while ringing his hands together. After checking with reception I learned that he hadn't shown up to work in several days so I headed to his house.
When I got there the front door was ajar and his entire yard had been toilet papered. For a minute I thought perhaps his soccer team had played a practical joke on the old man but this theory quickly evaporated when I stepped inside to see none other than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. He was in the middle of the living room emptying an entire box of laundry detergent onto the carpet while muttering the phrase, "Payback is a bitch!"
The Rock noticed me when I walked in and he tossed the box of detergent over the back of his head and into the dinning room. The following conversation ensued:
Me: Hey The Rock. I haven't seen you in months.
The Rock: Oh yeah... I've been busy making money and sleeping with hot women.
Me: Yeah, I know what you mean.
The Rock: So what are you doing here?
Me: I guess I could ask you that same question.
The Rock: Oh, I just came by to give Dagromm that twenty dollars I owe him, but it doesn't look like he is home.
Me: So what's with the detergent?
The Rock: What detergent?
Me: (Pointing silently at the mound of powder on the floor)
The Rock: That was there when I got here.
Me: Okay, well I guess I better get going, The Rock.
The Rock: By the way, CyberD. How is The Quad?
Me: Huh? Oh you mean The Crotch Wizards.
The Rock: Right, I was just checking to see if there were any openings.
Me: Sorry, not at the moment.
The Rock: Yeah, that's cool. I got a big photo shoot in Cancun tomorrow anyway so it's not like I could join you guys for your next poker night... even if you were needing a fourth person to replace someone who might be missing.
Me: Right... well, good luck with the photo-shoot.
I exited the front door and headed home. I suppose the world may never know what happened to good ol' Dagromm.
10 comments:
Great story. Let me know when you find him.
I noticed The Rock didn't mention his new movie. He must be really embarrassed about it.
Wanna find him? Put his picture on a milk carton, works everytime.
Lies all lies. The Rock comes to ALL of our poker games and you never show up. How dare you implicate him in a murder. He is a better crotch wizard than you could ever hope to be! Where is Gyuss we some voting to do...
Why do I sense a conspiracy between the rock and Q? Q, you wouldn't turn against dags just to get your beloved rock into the CWs, would you??
Susan, I am capable of anything when it comes to hot, steamy, rippling muscular men. My I am woozy just thinking about The Rock and I making babies together. Trying our hardest changing who gives and who receives, until we realize that we can't procreate because The Rock is sterile. He begins to cry because of how much he let me down, I console him and tell him it's okay as long as we have each other. One day I come home early from work to surprise him on our anniversary, only to find in bed with 6 other women. Distraught and enraged I kill all of them with my bare hands and flee to the arms of CyberD who holds me tight and tells me that he saw this coming.
Who is Dagromm? I have a very short attention span.
I'd pay attention to the Rock, but I'm busy getting all famous with my creative writing.
fringes, I'm begining to fear the worste.
noreg, I would be if I was him.
papa, it does a body good.
q, now you're just getting emotional.
susan, me thinks you may have a point.
q, I thought you meant something different when you were screaming, "Hard as the rock!" last night.
G, go ask Pokiman.
very informative as always cyber.
Lying doesn't become you Cyber...I told you if Dagromm doesn't resurface soon, there WILL be a spot in the CW's!!! Go on and admit...you don't want The Rock to outshine you in the Quad...do you?
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