It was late last night and we were cleaning up around the house. We had just finished dinner with a co-worker and put the toddler to bed. Mrs. Cyber was cleaning the kitchen and I was walking around the house with a wide awake baby in my arms. Being too tired to watch TV and too bored to sit on my ass, I started doing what I so affectionately call "mental drifting." It was in that moment, as I looked down at the limp sack of baby in my arms, that I came to the distinct realization that my son and Bill Parcells have so much in common.
Case in Point:
1) They both look exactly the same in a t-shirt and shorts.
2) They both are soft and "pudgy."
3) They both cry uncontrollably when they don't get what they want.
4) They both crap their pants whenever they feel like it.
5) They both have a solid mastery of a 3-4 defense.
6) They both smell better with baby-powder.
7) They both require 24-hour attention or else they may choke on small toys.
20 comments:
Genius!!! I now love your new baby more than the old one.
I was never really into the old baby either. I'm really glad you and Mrs. Cyber decided to replace him.
Have you worked out the details yet? I know it gets complicated.
Hell, some wars in the middle east are still being fought because Abraham did the exact same thing.
Dags, How can you not love the 3-4 defense!
G, I don't think you quite get the concept of having multiple kids. It ain't China. You get to keep them all!
Yeah I agree with both Gyuss and Dagromm your new baby is so much better than the old one, but that might just that new baby smell. Once that wears off he is probably just the same as lil' Magnum, sans the impressive mustache...
you gotta give points for the 'stash.
You get cuckolded a second time and they make you keep both kids?
OMG! What kind of hell is this?
been bashing on you since the woodchipper comment. figured i might as well stop in and see who i was insulting.
you 'get' to keep them all? now j is most definatly not getting laid again till he gets snipped! lol
I like your baby way more than I like Parcells and I've never even met your baby.
G, a hell like no other.
heather, welcome to The Wheel. Please feel free to see further clarifcation on the wood-chipper comment over at the Sarcastic Fingehead. Lord knows I'm a kind hearted bastard and wouldn't hurt a soul!
fringes, thanks. I like my baby more than the Big Tuna too.
heather - Unless he's been drinking. He's a mean drunk. And he's ALWAYS drunk.
oh good, i would hate to have to try speaking to only 3 of the quad. that could get kinda odd. come to think of it pokiman is kinda chimming in a bit more with you guys too so quad isn't gonna work is it.... unless i think of it as a campus quad.
yeah, i like that. you guys are still the quad to me then.
ooo...we've got a collective nickname!
rock on!
Awesome! Nickname talk at The Wheel! The first round is on me!
Oh dear lord, here we go again. Gyuss call security and alert them that CyberD is drinking. Dagromm go ahead and get the car and pull around front. I will try to wrestle CyberD off of the waitress he is rubbing his crotch against now. This is just like the trip to Santa Fe...
don't worry q, cyber only ~thinks~ he's drinking. i've been serving him pbr n/a since his second round. just don't tell him and maybe he'll pull a thelma. lol
oh, and g-man, you have had for a while. i just haven't said anything yet.
I don't know who the big dude is, but I'm tipping, your baby would be much, much cuter......I hope.
See, I'm not in the same place as Q and Dagromm on angry drunken Cyber.
I don't think of him as angry as much as I think of him as arrogantly leg humping when he's drunk
Q, You've got to be careful. Do you remember the last time you called security? You were at the airport and you forgot to take that Glock out of your purse. And for the record, that waitress totally wanted me!
heather, that's okay... I'm high on Jesus!
steph, welcome to The Wheel. I appreciate the sentament. I too think my baby is cute and he takes after me too!
Gyuss, thank you! Finally some respect... wait a minute... what do you mean by arrogantly?
Steph - I appreciate you throwing up the V. I don't know what gang that is, but I'm glad you're representing.
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