Most college kids have no money. My senior year apartment wasn't any different. Well, it was slightly different. Because while Braveheart, Urban Cowboy, and I were scraping pennies together to take out our respective girlfriends, Monkeywrench was busy fretting over how he was going to score twenty individual gallon sized containers for his latest school biology project.
You see he had this speck of land outside of town that the local wildlife refuge had agreed to let him use as an "unspoiled" environment so he could collect algae samples or some other crap I don't understand. The only problem was that he was running out of time to finish his project and it required the previous mentioned containers. The world wide web was still just gathering momentum and he had searched the damn thing. He had made numerous phone calls and everything he could find was going to run him upwards of $5 to $10 per container.
That's when his professor offered to take him to Sam's Club and purchase twenty glass-jar gallons of apple juice for $2 a piece. Two dollars a piece? What kind of world do we live in where an empty glass jar is worth more than a full one. So in theory, could I get a job as a jar emptier? Apparently it's worth at least $3 per jar... if not more. That is messed up.
15 comments:
Dude I didn't even understand this post. You drank all of that apple juice for $3 a gallon? You urinated in your room mates mouth? I am left with so many questions...
Q - Please stop reading blogs while watching bootlegged pay per view porn. It's confusing you.
Man, I remember that.
I also remember how Pokiman and I snuck in one night to "refill" a few of those apple juice jars.
Q, have you been sniffing "cheese" again?
Dags, is that what he was doing? Ick!
G, Do you remember him shilling all his friends to take a jug and drink it all in the next 48 hours? There was one afternoon where we all sat around watching the Cowboys while drinking apple juice in our underware... and I was wondering why mine tasted funny!
Ya'll have no proof that I bootlegged any pornographic films.
Just to confirm this you did urinate in their mouths?
cyber, underware??? as in hardware? or underwear. it's important to know which you ment. one word changes the scene considerably. anyway, ~if~ you do find that job and the jars are filled with beer, call me. i have no problems switching jobs. :-)
Q, there was no urination involved.
heather, indeed.
CyberD, I am totally confused now and how dare you bring sweet clean Heather into your tales of urination...
And after examining the picture on this post, have you been cruising myspace again?
q, unlike you i am going to be checking to make sure that none of the bottles have been tampered with first. and my bottle goes where i go. it's one of the first things a girl learns when drinking at the bars in a college town. either that or you wind up in a not so flattering position outside one of the frat houses.
*they ~do~ look a bit young don't they?*
Yeah like about 15...
Heather, the only thing that I really have to worry about are the pictures that they take of me while I am out. The rest is a welcome distraction from my normal daily activities...
Q, I don't know about that... I just pulled some random photo off of google images... but I guess you're the myspace stalking king, so you'd know better than anyone what the original source is.
Q does have an uncanny ability to recognize fifteen year olds. Creepy!
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