I've had it with the local "meteorologist." As if that title gives them some form of additional credentials. I'm sick and tired of tuning into these talking-heads only to see that their predictions are no more accurate than my uncle predicting the outcome of his high school basketball play-offs. Don't you just love it when the morning weather report tells you that there is a 75% chance of precipitation and when you go outside it's already raining? You want to call up Channel 5 and tell the weatherman to open a damn window because you should raise the percentage to 100!
But this isn't the worst of it. More annoying than the bogus weather report is the overly excited EMERGENCY weather report. It turns my stomach to see these yahoos get up and dance around the news-studio barely being able to contain their glee that some poor community is about to get shellacked with a hurricane or tornado or something. They are so excited that they have a reason to be on the air that they forget that peoples lives are in danger. Please contain your misplaced enthusiasm for five freaking minutes. Oh but wait! It doesn't take five minutes to warn people of these weather conditions. I mean how much time do these idiots need to tell you the weather?
And I'm not talking about the major stuff. If you've got a storm coming that's going to go FUBAR on an area than take all the time you need. I'm talking about these little piss-ant storms that may look spooky but ultimately are less harmful to your car than the local drill team washing your SUV for their next fundraiser to Disney World. I can understand if they have to break into the programming of my favorite show for five minutes. I'm also fine with them plastering tickers and Doppler radar all over the screen for the duration of a storm. I can even forgive the big-markets that must warn small towns and city suburbs more than 100 miles from me, even though the sky is so clear where I live that I can see Jupiter with my naked eye. But it doesn't take half-a-damn-hour! Let me demonstrate...
"People of Smallville, Tinytown, and Suburbacon: Run for cover and stay underground for the next three hours. Now back to your regular scheduled programing."
Did I really need to miss all of my show for that? Sweet Holy Baby Jesus Santa! There should be a law against these self-important dil-wads strutting around the screen for God-knows-how-long! Perhaps bodily harm should definitely be an option.
Whewwww! Okay, I'm done. Back to your regular scheduled programing.
14 comments:
lmao! go cyber! you were channeling some serious pms there. congrats on the rant. well done. and damn good topic too. i'm sick of the weathermen all calling for storms that never materialize and promising clear skies while it's raining buckets. lets line them up with the politicians and journalists and have a slap fest. :-)
heather, I'm officially adding slap-fest to my vocabulary. Love it!
I like how the man on the street hunts out the shittiest part of town and blames how crappy the structures look on the storm.
Nice profile update. I feel like I know you better already.
I can't handle the violence of these posts and blogments.
Pistol whippings....slappings...I'm so ashamed
Dags, even better is when they interview the locals and they choose to air the one moron that can't string a few words together to make a complete sentence.
Regarding my profile: I felt that the people of blog country needed to know the true me!
Gyuss, funny how you claim to not be able to handle violence when just last week you were bragging about your collection of 100 snuff films.
Snuff films are not violent.
See, Cyber, sometimes when a Mommy and a Daddy love each other very very much, Mommy puts on high heels and stomps on daddy's naughty bits.
See? Its all love.
Geeze Cyberpal, I'd love to post something profound or supportive, but reading your post, I just got me a hankerin for a big old bowl of extra Sweet Holy Baby Jesus Santa!
Pull up a chair. It's an all you can eat buffet!
Is it fixin' to rain?
cyber, thanks, not sure if it was overheard or if it's one of mine. with me anything's possible.
g-man, you just need a safe word. may i suggest supercalifragilisticexpealidocious?
weather reporters are all halfwits. They weren't smart enough for real journalism so they give them this role.
TWATS!
Since Steph is Australian I read eveything she rights with an Aussie accent, which seems to make it ok that she says "twats". Almost endearing even.
steph, I love it when people say TWATS on my blog.
Dagromm, see above.
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