I need answers!

I've been playing fantasy football for almost ten years. The last couple have been in a new league with largely rookie ownership. In both years I struggled and made the play-offs one of those two years. This year I combined forces with The Q... who made it to the Super Bowl last year in the league. This year we will have started 0-3. On paper our team isn't bad. It's solid. But our offensive production really sucks right now. I know we can get it together but we basically have no consistency. Q has been great about not laying all of this at my feet, considering the fact that I drafted the team while he was out of town... but I really can't help but think our draft is part of the problem.

I'll be honest with the blogging world when I say that ever since we did this keeper system, I have been thrown for a loop! I can't seam to get my footing year in and year out with each draft and I am very much looking forward to a clean slate in 2007. Having said that, I'm still at a loss for why we suck this year. The Q and I are good judges of talent. Perhaps it is that same phenomena when four family members go to the movies and can't decide what they want to see.

Observe:

Mom - Wants to see the Oscar nominated love story but will settle for the tongue and cheek comedy.

Dad - Wants to see the high-powered action film of the summer but will settle for the tongue and cheek comedy.

Son - Wants to see the big-budget comic book film but will settle for the tongue and cheek comedy.

Daughter - Wants to see the star-studded romantic comedy but will settle for the tongue and cheek comedy.

Arguably in every case, each member of the family wants to see a pretty good movie and arguably every member of the family might enjoy each film better than the lame tongue and cheek comedy but it happens to be 2nd on all their lists based on personal preference. Consequently the family chooses the lowest common denominator because they can all agree on this... and in the end nobody is happy.

So how does this relate to my team with Q? I know I'm holding Q back in some ways and he has respectfully consulted my opinion in every decision. Likewise, I'm sure some ideas have crossed my mind that I have refrained from suggesting because I know Q might be against it. The result is two championship level styles getting watered down in order to gel with the each other. That is not to say that I am not enjoying this partnership. It is proving to be a great working relationship. But I tell you right now that neither Q nor I are happy with our current record.

What I think is really at play here is just some seriously bad luck. But with another couple of losses I'll start to question that.

To the Q, I say we need to do something drastic. We need to mix it up. I don't know what that is but I'm sure we can come up with something.

Damn, I hate to lose.

It's not an invitation to dinner but it's more than most people get!

Today was probably my last major event with my current employer. I would say that for the most part I went out with a whimper. I wasn't in charge or even responsible for much of anything so I showed up on-time and stood around holding up a wall. This is much different than what I am normally accustomed to doing - that being working the room and meeting strangers so I can ask them for money. It was actually kind of nice to be as anti-social as I wanted to be without any expectations.

The speaker was quite a bore, and the program was pretty hap-hazard so it made me feel pretty good about the fact that even though my ex-boss expected perfection, she will continue to be disappointed by the people that she hires since (like me) we are all only human!

But there was one very special moment. Had I been a little more "on the ball" I might have gotten more. Maybe a conversation. Having received only a hand-shake and the casual comment of "hi," I was still extremely satisfied, because I got to shake the hand or Roger Staubach! Two and a half years with my organization and finally the man comes to one of our events. He's been invited to absolutely everything we do and he finally came. And I got to shake his hand. This is a Three time Super Bowl Champion, Quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys Football Franchise from 1969 to 1979, and all around person of prominence. It's not everyday that one gets the brief brush with fame (and believe me - mine was brief), but it's more than most people get, so I'm not ashamed to flaunt it. Woo-Hoo!

Time to get serious!

This weekend I got my fall recording schedule in order. It took about half an hour. I had to add all the new shows that have been marketed over the last summer. Only in the last couple of weeks has TiVo been able to program them into my Season Pass Manager. I then had to resort my priority list and make sure that I stopped recording re-runs of various programing (having now caught up with most shows that I was late to start last season).

The result is a cornucopia of programing that is all at once both exciting and terrifying. Never have I been committed to this much television since I lived alone after college. I'm certain half of the new shows (that I am recording on faith) will turn out to be complete crap... but I'd rather catch them early and dump them then show up late and miss out. But I really don't know how I will keep up with most of it. 75% of the stuff are shows my wife will not want to watch so I'm left with consuming this on nights she is at work and weeknights I feel I can stay up late.

This summer has been great. I've really been able to keep my TiVo pretty clean yet always have a couple of shows in the can ready to be viewed. I know I'm going to get that nervous feeling, worried that the programing is becoming too backlogged. I think it is time to get serious. I'm either going to have to convince the Mrs. to embrace a couple of new shows... or I'm going to have to choose which shows get dropped earlier than usual.

Observe the following in priority order...

Lost
The Office
Battlestar Galactica
Doctor Who Season 2
Dancing with the Stars
The Unit
Stargate Atlantis
House
Stargate SG-1
Sunday NFL Countdown
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Heroes
My Name is Earl
Desperate Housewives
Eureka
The Venture Brothers
NFL Primetime
Smallville
Scrubs
The Simpsons

Where will I find the time?

Why I know Emmitt Smith can dance and why I am not gay for knowing it.

So I have to make a confession. I've been struggling with this for a long time, but I feel the world needs to know that I do - in fact - watch Dancing with the Stars on ABC. Okay. I've admitted it. Let's get the cut-downs in early. I can take it. Let the good times role! Are you finished? Thank you.

Now that I once again have your undivided attention I shall explain why I choose to watch this show. You might say to yourself... his wife makes him watch it. I could use that excuse but I'll not hide behind those lies. Then why spend time watching a dance competition? Watching ballroom dancing is, without a doubt, exceedingly gay! I must protest greatly! Observe the following points.

1) It's a competition: Men love competitive activities. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Deep down if you know the rules most men enjoy any kind of competition ranging from tic-tac-toe to the NFL.

2) The NFL: Did you know Emmitt Smith is one of the contestants? In addition to Emmitt there is a political pundit. Dude, men are into politics! Did you know that the lead from Clash of the Titans movie is in the competition? What man doesn't love Clash of the Titans? And Springer... all men enjoy a good chick fight on Springer. Still not convinced?

3) Eye-Candy: There are really great looking chicks on this show. Of course I'm watching for the talented performances but a lesser man might find the shimmering female form to be quite appealing.

So having said all that, I will tell you that Emmitt Smith can dance. The dude is good. You should check it out.

Peace out.

Carpe Job!

It is a moment like this that one is reminded that the wheel of time does eventually turn. Like a child in the month of December the thing you crave most feels like it takes an eternity. In this case only nine months... and no I'm not talking about the birth of my son, although we are celebrating his birthday this month.

I'm talking about a job offer with Some-Such University. It represents so many things that I have been wanting/needing/longing for that it is hard to put into words what I am feeling right now. Disbelief is actually one of those feelings. Glee, peace, excitement, and fear are also some of the feelings rushing through me at this time.

I am now waiting for the contract to come in the mail so that I might review it, sign it, return it, and then shove my stinking resignation letter in the face of those I dislike most at my place of current employment.

Two and a half years isn't a long time on a resume but it sure is a long time being a duck out of water. I'm returning home in a sense. Back to working in higher education. And I have to say the best thing about working outside of that arena is now knowing that in the fundraising business - higher education is the place to be.

But the good news is that I am not just running away from something... Actually the running away part has become the smallest of factors. The even "gooder" news is that it is a great professional move to a university on the rise in prominence. It is into a facet of development that is truly the direction I want to take my career at this time and not the bizarre hybrid that it was at my current place of employment. It is significantly more money which is always a good thing and something that will come in handy with a new baby on the way.

(Did I not mention that on my blog yet? I guess I was too busy ranking Seinfeld characters.)

The one drawback is the travel. I will miss my wife and son terribly. Also being gone more often with the new baby will certainly be harder on my wife by comparison to my being home every night when Lil' Magnum was an infant.

But I am hopeful that this is something we can become comfortable with in time. I am also hopeful that "me time" will become a part of my life again. Perhaps there will be some time to persue my writing instead of watching lame cable television in a hotel room. "Me time" has been in serious short supply. But with all change comes stress. I anticipate growing pains with the new situation but the positives certainly outweigh the negatives.

So Carpe Job I say!

Little Things

I haven't written much about my son in the last several months, but as the world approaches his second birthday I feel compelled to share. Two years now and it feels like a lifetime and (at the same time) just yesterday that "Little Man" was born. It has been a crazy ride and list night I got another glimpse of things to come. This has happened on numerous occasions as he has grown up, changed, and generally developed over the last two years.

The big thing I noticed last night was his memory. Wow! This kid isn't forgetting what happened thirty minutes ago, much less five minutes ago. This really makes the "redirection strategy" very difficult. For those unfamiliar with the redirection strategy, it is the process by which you re-direct your child's attention to something else he/she might perceive as fun or interesting and away from the thing or action that they are doing that is (by your standard) negative. Using the redirection strategy helps to mitigate the number of times you have to scold, discipline, or otherwise, reprimand your children. And lets face it, there are enough times where you have to do that, why not use a little misdirection and everyone stays happy.

So I picked him up at the baby-sitters yesterday afternoon, and while he was forced to stay inside he was watching the baby-sitter's older children play baseball in their front yard. He seamed okay with this, if he had thrown a tantrum it was long before I arrived. However, when we got home (15 minutes later) he picked up a long dowel rod in the garage and proceeded to say "hit ball" as he whacked everything in a three foot radius around him.

"Whoa there, Tex!" I cried as I frantically searched for his "puffy" bat. You know the ones that are padded with that Nerf material? I manage to switch out the dowel rod for the bat (the only successful redirection of the evening) and I get him outside. Luckily, Mommy had stacked all the wiffle balls in one place. This is perhaps the first time in 6 months that I have needed to find something in the house and not had to call her cell phone because she has hidden it in plain site and would have bitten me if it was snake. I am quite proud of myself at this point. I can't find the T-Ball stand and I curse under my breath. I refuse to call the wife. So instead he proceeds to knock the ball around the back yard like he was playing golf. He is happy with this. Until he sees the garden hose. Three days ago he flooded the flowerbed with water and made a mud-jacuzzi. He remembered this and wanted to do it again. I attempted to keep him interested in baseball but to no avail. We went inside because I wasn't going to give him a bath. He cried.

But I had my reprieve... It was 7:15pm and it was time for his thirty minutes of television before I would whisk him off to bed.

(Side Note: I don't see this is misdirection. This is bargaining. One arguably bad thing for another arguably bad thing)

I noticed that Curious George was recorded on the TiVo so it looked like we would be watching that silly cartoon monkey for the next half hour. Check that... more like the next hour. The kid couldn't get enough of that damn monkey. Especially since George visited a farm. Little Man loves animals and he couldn't stop giggling at the cows and pigs. He was happy with this. Until I decide that it is truly time for bed. He proceeds to throw a tantrum the likes of which have never been seen. Flailing arms, tears, and a body whip-lash that would send anyone over the age of 65 into traction. Hell, I think I have neck pain just watching it.

I manage to make it into the nursery with a sippy-cup of milk, a pacifier, his favorite stuffed animal, and all fingers and toes intact. We settle down with a good book: A Winnie the Pooh Winter. He loves the Pooh Bear franchise with Tigger and Christopher Robin at the top of his list of favorites. Christopher Robin by the way is pronounced "Chisefer Mama" according to my son. We cycle through books and my son finally settles down and enjoys story time. He was happy with this. Until he sees a farm house in the background of one of the stories about a puppy dog. He is immediately reminded of the Curious George farm episode and begins crying for "George" again. I calm him down with another story but the damage is done. I try and wrap things up at thirty minutes beyond his bedtime and he isn't having it. He's pulling all the aces out of his sleeves using words like: No, Mommy, Please, Cow, George, eh-fant (or Elephant in baby talk). The lights go off and he goes berserk. While I am walking him to the crib he spits out his pacifier. This is the one life-line we have to keep the boy calm and bridge the gap between being awake and being asleep. I'm not leaving this room until "passy" is recovered. So I turn the lights back on and he says "Okay!" as if to say, "Thanks for turning the lights on, Dad. Now we can get back to reading stories." So I wrap things up with the book "Goodnight Moon," remembering to skip the pages about the cow. I wouldn't want to remind him about Curious George again.

Finally he calms down as I place him in bed. He sits up for a few minutes to rearrange his stuffed animals. I wait patiently as he finds all his favorites and lines them up so that he can sleep on top of them. He is happy with this... and so am I.

I say goodnight.