Thanksgiving Report Card

Well, it was one hell of a Thanksgiving. We got off to a rockin' start, making it to the airport with ten whole minutes to spare before our plane boarded. I actually had time to take Lil' Magnum to tinkle before leaving, the only problem is that he ran out of the bathroom without holding my hand and almost got his clock cleaned by one of those lazy person shuttles that drive around the terminal. Damn lazy people! Magnum got a stern talking to for that one.

The flight went rather well with only a few minor outbursts by Lil' Higgins, who (being only 8 months old) didn't understand how to handle the ear pain that comes with pressure changes. After landing, we waiting in baggage claim for an inordinately long amount of time but that was off-set by the fact that I spotted the minor celebrity, Shannon Elizabeth. All in all I give the airport and flight experience an A-.



After arriving at my cousin's pad I began to feel like real donkey crap. Low energy, aches, pains, etc. etc. Up to this point we believed our kids had minor colds but if they gave me something, it was much worse because I came down with a massive fever and spent the next 14 hours in bed trying to rest up for the planned day trip to Disneyland. All in all I give the afternoon of being sick a C+. Sleeping for 14 hours rocked but I felt terrible.

Luckily my illness was either massive dehydration, body fatigue, or a 24 hour flu, because I woke up the next day feeling refreshed and ready for Disney. We took our boys to the park and my oldest had a blast. We had a few hick-ups along the way but overall it was great fun. We didn't get to ride as many rides as we would have liked due to the fact that moving around with a stroller and two little ones just takes time. I give Disneyland a B-.



Thanksgiving Day was a complete beat-down. To be honest the Dallas and Green Bay games were the best part about the day. Had I known about the Indy game I might have given Thursday a better grade, but I missed that game. The food was okay, but the kids were in rare form. They must have been overly tired (from the day before) because Mrs. Cyber and I didn't really get to enjoy much turkey or stuffing. We dealt with bratty behavior all day. Overall I give Turkey Day a D-.

Friday was extra special because my cousin provided tickets to the Broadway musical Wicked! Mrs. Cyber and I hadn't been to a musical in years sot we jumped at the chance to abandon the boys and go out for an adult evening. The musical rocked, although it wasn't the best I had seen and I only feel a little gay confessing this so I give Wicked and Friday an A-.



Finally the trip back was okay... only that we didn't get home until 9pm on Saturday. The boys were trashed and went to be immediately but Mrs. Cyber had to go out and get the dog that night. Overall the flight home went well except for the liter of ginger ale in my lap. I give the travel day a C.

So my total grad for the trip is a C+. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with kids under the age of 4.

Rock me!

Panic

I woke up this morning with the realization that I am about to board a five hour flight tomorrow from Cybertown, U.S.A. to Los Angeles with my wife, two sons who both have head colds, and my parents.

I myself have recently strained my left wrist for some unknown reason, although my doctor tells me it was from over-use... whatever that means. I'm checking two car seats, a double stroller, and enough bags of clothes, toys, and various miscellaneous items to stock a large department store!

I am insane.

Diagnosis: Dumb Ass

I'm sure you're like me. Worried about the magical, mystical, Q. His site has been down for weeks and I fear it may never return. But it has been a busy November and I haven't had a chance to call the man until just the other day. The following conversation occurred...

(Phone ringing)

Q: Hello (in weak voice)

Me: Hey, Q! How you doing?

Q: Not to well, Cyber D.

Me: Really? What's wrong?

Q: Well, I'm bad sick.

Me: That's terrible, did you catch the flu bug that's been going around?

Q: No, I think I caught the AIDS.

(Long pause)

Me: What??? You're kidding.

Q: No, man. I feel terrible. Like I'm about to die.

Me: So how did this happen?

Q: I don't know, you know how easy it is to spread germs.

Me: Well, not really. You have to have had unprotected sex or shared a dirty drug needle to get AIDS. Have you done that?

Q: Hell no!

Me: Well then I don't think you have AIDS.

Q: Did you go to medical school, Cyber D?

Me: No.

Q: I suppose I should start calling you Doctor Cyber D now, eh?

Me: Don't be foolish, Q. You don't have the AIDS.

Q: I told you I feel like I'm about to die.

Me: What are your symptoms?

Q: The usual. Runny nose, sore throat, fever, aches and pains. But I've taken a Tylenol and I'm feeling a little better. Still, there's no stopping the AIDS. I suppose it's only a matter of time.

Me: So I suppose Q's Corner isn't coming back.

Q: Not unless I can blog from the grave.

Me: You're not dying, Q.

Q: I'm making out my will now.

Me: Really? What am I getting?

Q: A deer carcass.

(Long Pause)

Me: I love venison!

Q: I know!

Me: Especially with A-1 steak sauce.

Q: Who doesn't?

Me: You know me so well...

Q: And you - me, Cyber D.

Me: So you'll have your mom call me for the funeral right? I've got to run to the grocery store.

Q: No problem.

Look Out! It's an Origin Story!!

I know Blog Country has wondered for years now how my off-spring came by their inter-web monikers of Lil' Magnum and Lil' Higgins. Some may believe it was random choice. Others might assume some secret code for a specific personality trait. I stand before you today to reveal the awful truth. Like the name of CyberD, their web-names were born out of a Quad moment.

It was the spring of 2004 when Dagromm, the illustrious Q, and I gathered for lunch at our favorite little whole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. As usual I ordered enchiladas and a glass of ice (as I always bring my own soda to the table). Q and Dagromm rolled their eyes at my B.Y.O.B policy before ordering fajitas for two and a single milk shake and one curly straw.

As I finished my tasty plate of spicy enchiladas and the Q and Dags teased each other over the last strip of Mexican beef, the conversation turned to the upcoming birth of my fist son. At the time Mrs. Cyber and I hadn't decided on his name so Q and Dags pushed hard for something suitably manly for a Quad off-spring. Dags warned me about naming my son something like Ashley or Leonard, lest he be the object of bully-hatred his entire life. I then jokingly said that not all children can grow up to be bad ass like Tom Sellek. Q than asked if I was referring to Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck or Quigley Down Under Tom Selleck because the Quigley Sellek was a little gay.

Dags immediately chimed in with the bombastic opinion that I name my son Magnum. Specifically Magnum Philonious Ignatius or Magnum P.I. for short. I reminded them that if I insisted on such a name, my wife would likely shoot me in the face while I slept. But they decided that my decision didn't matter. My first born child would always be Lil' Magnum to them. As you can see in the photo, Dags was never more serious. He gave Lil' Mag this shirt the day he was born. My son has now fully embraced the persona and occasionally tests the quality and thickness of his ongoing mustache like in this picture.

The Quad tips our hat to you, Lil' Magnum!

Happy and Healthy... It's So EASY!!!

My wife and I are like many other couples in their mid thirties with multiple children. We're strapped for time, money, energy, and sleep. It shouldn't be a surprise that the stresses of life, work, and parenting can take it's toll on the body. We see the aging process occurring live and in living color and nobody likes that. The glorification of youth has never been more present in our culture and I'm not immune to the desire to lose weight, look younger, and remain relevant in a constantly changing society.

So like many others, we occasionally try to turn over a new leaf, be it diet, exercise, or any other multitude of things. But what really sets me off are these articles on the news and talk shows that try to tell you how easy it is to add years to your life, lose fifty pounds, and have limitless energy. It's always just three simple steps isn't it? That's because they teach you in presentations 101 that an audience can't follow anything longer than three steps. The fact of the matter is, it's never that easy!

Let's take last night for example. Mrs. Cyber and I had finally got the kids down for the night around 9pm. We look around at the house and it is a complete wreck. Dishes piling up, toys strewn about everywhere, laundry needing to be done, etc. etc. You get the idea. As we are cleaning we have a popular talk show running on the television in the background. Once again, the host and her guest is tells us about three simple steps that will give us a happy and healthier life. This includes avoiding high fat and high sugar foods. It also includes just thirty minutes of exercise every day. Finally the most important thing is to get more sleep.

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

So you mean to tell me that between the sleepless nights we suffer with our infant, we have to find away to make all our meals at home (to avoid fast food) that then requires us to keep back the avalanche of dirty dishes that comes with eating at home every meal. If that isn't enough we also are expected to fit in thirty minutes of exercise. That requires getting up earlier than usual in order to exercise before the kids awake (or I leave for work) because once the kids are up and at it, it's all about their busy schedule. Finally, and MOST importantly, go to bed early to get more sleep. Screw me sideways! How is all of this possible? You either have to have super-speed or an army of servants to do all the dirty work in your home.

I give up! I'm going to McDonald's!