Offsides: 5 Yard Penalty!

There is a phrase my favorite radio station uses: To be "drawn offsides." As a football term most people understand this to mean that the defense has encroached into the neutral zone before the offense has snapped the ball.

This radio station also uses the term when one person is "taunting" another person, trying to tempt them into an argument. If you're smart you will resist the temptation to be "drawn offsides." The reason being is that person is harassing you for the sole reason of attempting to get a reaction out of you... or for shock value... or for both.

Enter Ann Coulter. This witch is a money grubbing pseudo-celebrity with an ego ten sizes larger than her anorexic waste-line and a chip on her shoulder that would make the executives at Frito-Lay jealous. See, just mentioning her name begins to "draw me offsides," and this is exactly what she wants.

Wait... let me amend that. The first thing she wants is for her books and public appearances to make her money. In order to do this she needs the buzz of the public... good or bad. I believe it doesn't matter to this chick. It is for this reason that she taunts the American public with her venomous hyperbole. But the secondary benefit is for the negative buzz she gets because it feeds right back into her first priority: making money. Essentially she is no different from those that came before her. Andrew Dice Clay, Madonna, Eminem, you name it. There are plenty of celebrities out there that use shock tactics to attract an audience. The only difference between them and Coulter is that she uses a political platform to make her living. And for this reason she is more irresponsible than all the others combined. At least with music, comedy, or movies one can ignore the lurid behavior and take the moral high-ground. After all, Eminem isn't shaping world opinion on the importance of serious geo-political issues that can effect every man woman and child in our great country. No, it is the responsibility of our nations leaders to address Coulter's hate mongering. It cannot go unchecked, lest it take root like a weed. But there is a fine line between being the voice of reason and being an advertisement for her next book.

Having said that, I encourage everyone to avoid Ann Coulter like the plague. She doesn't deserve your hard earned dollars nor does she merit an auditorium full of spectators. If you are interested in "knowing your enemy" feel free to check out Al Franken's recent article. He had the unfortunate experience of debating her earlier in the year. He sums it up nicely. I'll not waste any more time with that devil woman.

Al Franken's Post Debate Remarks

Top 25 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Heroines - Part 3

9) Dana Scully - The X Files



This FBI special agent was the voice of reason and the quintessential skeptic. She was the perfect foil to Mulder's blind faith in all things paranormal and extra-terrestrial. The two truly shared a partnership and viewers often found Scully in the role of savior as much as her counterpart. As forensic specialist, coroner, and all around scientist, Scully brought a weight and depth to the series that placed the show apart from the rank and file "creep-shows." Cool and collected, hardly anything phased this professional woman. But Scully also proved to be open in mind and heart. As Scully's appreciation grew for her partner she both showed true compassion for Mulder and true belief in his mission. In the face of undeniable facts and the later absence of Mulder, Scully took up his torch with a zeal and loyalty that proved her character could grow beyond a stereotype.

8) Elizabeth Swann - Pirates of the Caribbean



This young aristocrat was the rebellious and pirate loving daughter of Governor Weatherby Swann. From the beginning of the film, Elizabeth proves to have nerves of steel, insisting that her maid-servant hide while she defend her home from pirates. Even as a captive of the gruesome Barbossa, she still maintains her composure and thinks on her feet, invoking the rule of "parlay." Later in the film she continued to demonstrate her guile by tricking the master-trickster, Jack Sparrow while marooned on a deserted island. Despite Elizabeth's delicate appearance she also proves to be brave in battle, fighting side by side with Will Turner. This summer, Elizabeth will vault from respectable fantasy character to franchise fantasy heroine when the Caribbean sequel hits theaters. We welcome the new adventures of Ms. Swann.

7) Emma Peel - Avengers



The character of Emma Peel broke new ground for sci-fi babes everywhere. Like few others in the 1960s Emma was a feminist heroine, overturning stereotypical portrayals of women. As a martial arts master, expert fencer and specialist in chemistry and other sciences she was one of the very first super-she-spies on television. Perhaps more amazing was the fact that the character of Emma Peel was a replacement for a previously popular female side-kick, Cathy Gale. Despite her feminist ways Mrs. Peel always made the most of her feminine attributes, often sporting the leather catsuit she made famous. Peel's relationship with Partner Steed is one of true equals. It was with regret that viewers said goodbye to Mrs. Peel when Mr. Peel was returned home having been MIA for several years. It turns out not even the great Emma can escape her traditional wife routes and the reason she ranks no higher on this list.

6) Aeryn Sun - Farscape



This former Peacekeeper represents a new evolution of science fiction heroine. As part of the critically acclaimed franchise Farscape, Aeryn Sun's character goes through a dramatic transformation. At first Aeryn is introduced as an antagonist to the hero John Crichton, but later recognizes she is a criminal on the run from her own people and can never return to her former life. During her time on Moya Aeryn evolves from a detached and heartless soldier into a loyal shipmate and faithful friend. Eventually Crichton and Aeryn become equal partners and she adopts the mantel of loving wife and mother by the series end. What is so unique about this character is the reverse engineering that she undergoes. When we first meet Aeryn there is no question that she is a hardened warrior and it is the slow transformation into a softer character that we relish. However, throughout change, she never loses the true essence of her character. A strong willed and determined woman with a never-say-die attitude that typifies what we have come to expect. She will never take a back-seat to her fellow heroes and she often is cast as the most heroic of all characters in her franchise... and fans of the show love her for it.

5) Trinity - The Matrix



A child of the Matrix, Trinity was a notorious computer hacker, until Morpheus showed her the truth behind the Matrix. She was recruited onto the Nebuchadnezzar and since that time began freeing the minds of others that were ready for enlightenment. Trinity, is a powerful and cunning warrior, an expert computer hacker and master martial artists. Trinity operates largely as the savior character throughout most of the first film, helping to guide Neo through his own journey. By the end of the film, Trinity still proves to be a formidable partner in action and never disappoints, taking out the bad-guys with the same stoic determination as ever before. Trinity also represents a re-energizing of the heroic feminine character in film. Following her prominent role in The Matrix, fans of sci-fi fantasy begin to see a growing number of heroine leads.

4) Sarah Conner - Terminator 2



Arguably the damsel in distress in Terminator, Sarah Conner returns for the second installment as a hardened and paranoid figure trapped in a mental institution. Her life was irreversibly altered by the events of the first film and this has made her both determined and vigilant in her mission to escape capture and find her son. Sarah's new look exploded onto film with great popularity amongst fans and casual viewers alike. Much was written about her physical make-over and admirers marveled at the "girl-power" image she portrayed. In fact, the character of Sarah Conner did a great deal to develop a road-map for taking the qualities we admire in our heroes and placing them into our heroines. Never settling to play second fiddle to the "good" Terminator, Sarah Conner continued to assert her leadership throughout the film. Even in the film's climax, when all hope appears lost, she stands between the T2 machine and her son-- playing the role of brave heroine. She is ready to sacrifice everything for the human race. Only in the end, when she knows that her son is truly safe, do we see her let down her guard and reveal the tenderhearted mother underneath.

3) Ellen Ripley - Aliens



Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley can be credited with facing off against the most notorious and deadly alien species in all of science fiction film-- not one but four times! While some might question the validity of the final two films, Ripley's role in the first two (Alien and Aliens) is more than enough to vault her into the top 5 of this list. In both films, Ripley plays the cautious and intuitive heroine, while everyone around her acts the fool. Inevitably, as the bodies pile up against the deadly Alien(s), Ripley is forced to take charge in an effort to save her life and those around her. She displays a level of courage in the face of real terror, never allowing herself to lose her cool. She also demonstrated a warrior's spirit when she defeats the Alien Queen while piloting a "transformers-esque" forklift. This franchise (along with the character of Ripley) expanded the potential of the genre to include gritty real-world mythologies (and their heroines) we see later in other landmark franchises like The Matrix, Battlestar Galactic and many more.

2) Buffy Summers - Buffy the Vampire Slayer



The Chosen One who will protect mankind from the dark terrors of the demon underworld. Perhaps no other character on this list goes through a more personal journey than this heroine. As viewers we followed her from her early highschool years when she attempted to reject her destiny, only wanting to be a normal girl. Eventually Buffy embraced her destiny and adopted the mantel of leadership amongst her peers, making the protection of her friends and fellow classmates a top priority. We witnessed the growing pains of leaving her childhood behind her and becoming someone who not only felt responsible for saving all of Sunnydale but the World! Buffy manages to display all the qualities of a great leader and savior while still being cast as a "real" character with all the foibles that come with being human. We see Buffy make terrible mistakes and then suffer the consequences all the while emerging stronger and wiser when she comes out the other side. In the final days of Buffy's television reign, we never see her take a back-seat to her male counterparts. It is always and only ever Buffy's job to protect us from the evils that lurk in the shadows.

1) Princess Lea - Star Wars



No heroine in science fiction or fantasy entertainment is more iconic than Princess Leia. Standing as the sole heroine in the greatest science fiction franchise of all time is a tall order, but Princess Leia pulls it off with flying colors. Bursting onto the silver screen as an outspoken and hard-headed rebel leader, Leia Organa was both beautiful princess and hardened warrior. While trapped in the Death Star she never betrayed her cause, even when it cost her entire home world their lives. She later demonstrated her combat abilities, by fighting side by side with Luke and Han as they battled their way out of the Death Star. In subsequent films, Leia continued to operate in a position of significant authority in the rebel alliance, and can be credited as a key strategic architect in the evacuation of the rebel base on Hoth. We later see her balance the delicate virtues of her love of Han Solo with the hard decisions that must be made in a time of war. Perhaps nothing is more memorable than the infamous "iron-bikini" she wore as Jabba's slave in the final film. This image would forever be the standard by which all women were measured for young boys everywhere. Even in the end, when she was revealed to be Luke's twin (Vader's daughter) Leia bravely fought alongside her "brother's in arms," making it possible for the rebel alliance to become victorious over the Empire. With the huge success of the Princess Leia character, the role of major heroine was forever secured for future generations. Thank you, Princess. Thank you very much.

Top 25 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Heroines - Part 2

17) Cordellia Chase - Angel



This school-yard villain, turned Buffy side-kick, eventually found her way into becoming a formidable heroine in the Angel series. No character on this list has gone through more transformations than Cordellia Chase. Evidence of her heroine chops first showed themselves when she was still just a young high-school girl, fighting alongside her fellow Sunnydale vampire hunters. It wasn't until she hooked up with Angel that she inherited special powers of cognition and the moral backbone that went along with it. Throughout the Angel series Cordy proved to be someone that stood up for those in need and although her final days were spent possessed by a demon, she eventually returned as a ghost to redeem herself.

16) Sydney Bristow - Alias



Sydney Bristow manages to skirt the fine line between action super-spy and friendly girl-next-door the same way her series Alias manages to walk the fine line between TV drama and cult science fiction. But Sydney has faced off against enough bizarre phenomena to qualify for a first-class heroine in the genre. This international secret agent manages to balance a hectic school schedule and saving the world from evil terrorists, all the while, planning a wedding shower for her favorite roommate. That was until she dropped her regular identity and went full-on-she-spy! Unlike many from this list, Sydney truly stands alone as the primary protagonist and heroine for her series. You will not find this one being turned into the damsel in distress and for that she deserves your respect!

15) Hermione Granger - Harry Potter



This young witch has come a long way in the last four years and most Harry Potter fans can't wait to see where she will go next. Hermione goes from a precocious "1st year" over-achiever to a formidable "4th year" junior wizard. During that time the young witch has saved both her friends and herself from all manner of dangerous encounter. Very few heroines can boast the proper skills, much less the intestinal fortitude that Hermione portrays, but this young lady manages to stand tall amongst her fellow heroes as a part of a significant franchise in the fantasy genre.

14) Barbarella - Barbarella



This swinging sixties sci-fi character redefined the role of heroines in the genre. Barbarella was both capable and free-spirited. In one minute she could court a lover and in the next minute she would defeat the bad-guys. Although the film is difficult to understand and the story-arc is convoluted, there is no argument of her strong historical impact on the science fiction industry.

13) Deanna Troi - Star Trek: The Next Generation



This Starfleet officer proved to be an invaluable member of the Enterprise crew over the years. Troi was half-human and half-Betazed and one of many that joined Starfleet as part of their counselor corps. Troi was capable of inter-species telepathy and proved to be an excellent negotiator, strategist, and counselor for Captain Picard. Troi embodied the Starfleet ideal: compassionate, forthright, and determined. Deanna often developed solutions to problems when there were none before.

12) Marion Ravenwood - Raiders of the Lost Ark



Indiana Jones never did better than his first female companion. Marion is tough on the outside with a heart of gold on the inside. She can drink a 300 pound man under the table and fight off Arab assassins with a frying pan. She is also able to demonstrate her softer feminine side, but only in an effort to orchestrate her escape from Belloch, the archeologist. Although she might be a little nervous around snakes, she manages to weather the wrath of God, which says a great deal for her strength of will. There is no question that Marion could go toe-to-toe with any slick starlet they trot out in modern sci-fi/fantasy film.

11) Padme - Star Wars



As Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa's birth mother, this alone argues placement in the top 25. However, Padme proves to be a worthy heroine in her own right. Although her impact on the prequals lessens in each film, Padme can be credited for being the mastermind behind the defeat of the Nimodians on Naboo and the impetus for the future rebel alliance. Nevermind that whole part about placing Palpatine in power or that bit about contributing to the fall of Anakin Skywalker. She's Luke and Leia's mommy so back off!

10) Number Six - Battlestar Galactica



Many might argue against Number Six as a heroine, but to her own people (the Cylons) that is exactly what she is. Masquerading as a human in the vanguard of the Cylon initiative, Number Six carried on an elaborate affair with Gaius Baltar without him ever knowing the difference. She subsequently infiltrated the human's primary defense grid and brought about the destruction of the 12 colonies, bringing the human race to the brink of extinction. Her place in the new series (more than any other) has re-defined Battlestar Galactica, making it a fresh and unique stand-alone franchise. Since that time Number Six continues her quest to defeat the humans, although recent events begin to bring her loyalties into question. What is not in question is this characters impressive array of skills and abilities.

Top 25 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Heroines - Part 1

Here at The Wheel in Space we like to think of ourselves as an equal opportunity blog-space. We pride ourselves on giving equal attention to all and we honor that tradition with a homage to the Heroines of Science Fiction and Fantasy Television and Film. If you enjoyed the recent "Battle Royale" series this latest installment of all things sci-fi and fantasy should be right up your alley. The science team took the data from the prospective candidates and ran it through our laboratory diagnostic facility, making sure to measure and log even the smallest detail. The result was the definitive ranking of the best heroines, earning these tops spots based on a variety of metrics including their skills, abilities, importance to their franchise, quality of their franchise, historical impact on the genre, and overall presentation.

25) Xena - Xena Warrior Princess



This warrior woman first emerged into fandom as a villain in the Hercules series, but her popularity was clear and her own series quickly followed, arguably dwarfing the fan following of her predecessor. Strong, confident, and never afraid to make out with her female side-kick, Gabrielle-- Xena was a formidable heroine during her time on the small screen.

24) Seven of Nine - Star Treck Voyager



The introduction of Seven of Nine brought new life into a limping franchise. With a striking appearance and a compelling back-story, "Seven" captivated an audience that was looking for something new. The character itself was a bold attempt at deconstructing the Borg (one of Star Trek's most notorious foes). Seven was a powerful warrior, a capable scientist and a decisive strategist. But her Borg past did not equip her with traits like compassion or empathy, making Seven one of the most drastic departures from female stereotypes inside a genre that is already known for breaking new ground.

23) Samantha Carter - Stargate SG-1



This rising military star was a valuable asset to the Stargate program. Appointed as the science specialist to the SG-1 team, "Sam" saved the lives of many soldiers and civilians alike in the last ten years. Having grown from a young captain to a seasoned colonel, Sam is the rock of SG-1. This is never more apparent when she takes a leave of absence from the Stargate program, leaving the team disoriented and often times placing themselves in more jeopardy than they otherwise would be if she had been their to guide them with her sound wisdom and logic.

22) Lora/Yori - Tron



This virtual reality character and her human counterpart get points for being the girl on the list you would most likely take home to meet your mom because she is so darn nice. It is no surprise that this movie's female lead makes the list, coming from a film that was decades ahead of its time. Tron took us into the world of virtual reality before such a thing even existed which makes Yori the very first "cyber-chick!" Yori stands by her leading men with unflinching nerve and even is prepared to sacrifice herself for the greater good. Welcome to the top 25, Yori.

21) Evelyn Carnahan - The Mummy



Evelyn is the picture of librarian geekiness. Clumsy, bookish, and socially awkward, but with a heart of gold and a determination that rivals anyone else on this list. Evelyn, faces off with some of the Mummy's most gruesome minions and lives to tell the tale. She leads the expedition of men without a second thought, and she charges into the depths of an ancient crypt like it was the play-zone at McDonald's. Perhaps Evelyn would have ranked higher if not for her lame male counterparts bringing her down.

20) Sylvia - Brotherhood of the Wolf



Sylvia is perhaps one of the most mysterious heroines on this list. For the majority of the film, she is assumed to be a well connected courtesan with knowledge of town secrets. As the story progresses you realize she is so much more. In a dramatic turn-around you learn that Marianne (who you assume to be a protagonist in the film) turns out to be a villain, and Sylvia a secret agent for the French government. Both tempting siren and formidable anti-hero, Sylvia manipulates the game better than anyone, saving our hero at the end and accomplishing her mission.

19) Lana Lang - Smallville



This small town girl started off as not much more than a damsel in distress but over the course of five seasons has turned into a formidable heroine. Overcoming vampirism, possession, and any number of other mystical force, Lana has time and time again managed to survive mortal peril. Most recently she has fearlessly sided with the evil Zod, but true Smallville fans can expect her to eventually see the light and will come to the aid of Clark and company.

18) Arwen - The Fellowship of the Ring



Elf wizard and warrior, Arewn's heroine status is elevated from book to film. She single handedly saved the fellowship from certain death when she selflessly took Frodo in her arms and ran from the Nazgul. But nerve wasn't enough to save Frodo. She flexed her mystical muscle, causing an tidal wave of water to take out the undead kings. Being the fiance to the King of all Gondor is no slouch position either. Arwen certainly earns her place on this list.

Review of X-Men 3: The Last Stand

You can imagine my excitement as the summer movie season unfolds this year. No movie was more anticipated for me than what is presumed to be the final chapter of the X-Men movie trilogy. In fact, this date was metaphorically marked on my calendar when they announced there was to be an X-Men 2 film, because I knew a third would be inevitable. I also knew that if the second and third chapter turned out to be even half as good as the first... I would be pleased. I am happy to say that I am pleased. My wife and I went with another couple to the cinema last weekend to witness the conclusion of the X-Men story line.

The realization of all the characters was typically exemplary (save for a few drab costume choices). The special effects, both digital and physical, were seamless and outstanding. The musical score was moving but not over-powering, and the larger brush strokes of the plot were sound and entertaining. Overall I was very pleased with the film and (unlike The Matrix) be happy to have the complete trilogy in my DVD library.

Having said that there are a few problems with the film. It is unavoidable that certain characters get short shrift in this movie. The line-up is overburdened and, with the introduction of 6+ new characters, some story lines are compromised. Also, this film packs a bigger punch in the action category. But I would argue that this is not a good thing. It may be the one with the most explosions and the highest body count but you can see the sacrifice made. Many of the subtle details that were so enjoyable in the first two films are missing from this one. A great deal of the subtext about the persecution of others falls flat (or goes completely missing) in parts where it should stand as the major focal point of the film. Finally, the deviations from the x-men mythology are no greater then in this film and are seemingly unnecessary, simply executed for shock value.

The rest of this review is chock-full of spoilers so if you want the movie ruined please feel free to read on. You have been warned.

So which characters rise to the surface and which get the shaft? Where to begin. Well it goes without saying that Wolverine returns as the main protagonist of the film but while the primary focus is on his love-story with Jean, the plot-thread about his origin is completely dropped. Many of you might say that his origin story was resolved in the second film but there were hints that Wolverine's previous life was yet to be fully revealed. For example: what compelled him to volunteer for the weapon X project and what type of person was Logan if he was friends with Stryker? To make Wolverine's story even less effective Cyclops was completely removed from the love triangle when Jean murders him in the first half-hour of the film. If (logistically speaking) James Marsden was unable to participate in the entire film than I can forgive the murder of Cyclops, but if they believed Cyclops death would serve the greater plot-arch... I disagree.

Halle Berry fans will be pleased to see that Storm gets a generous portion of dialogue and is thrust into a prominent role as leader. In fact, Storm's leadership works so well that I found myself disappointed that they didn't do more with her sooner. She also flexes more mutant muscle than the other two films combined. In the finale Storm's battle with Callisto is particularly satisfying. However, Storm's anger about being persecuted (that she confesses to Nightcawler in the 2nd film) goes completely un-addressed.

Many will not be surprised that Jean Grey plays a prominent role in the final chapter of this saga. Without going into the bloody details, Jean's continued story-line is the most dramatic departure from X-Men mythology to date. It works for the purpose of telling this movie's story but it is very distracting for anyone who is familiar with the franchise. It also changes Jean's entire backstory from the first two movies, making future viewings of the previous chapters different in retrospect.

Other returning characters that benefit from this script include Iceman and Pyro. Perhaps without merit, it seamed too tempting to not give these potential arch-rivals screen time in order to pump up their final altercation. It is a crime that some of our other favorite characters did not get any more screen time, but with so many to choose from, perhaps this is inevitable. But with a running time of less than two hours I would maintain that more time could have been spent on... Mystique, Rogue, Collosus, Cyclops, and Xavior. The two most egregious of errors are Xavior and Collosus. The later being one of my favorite characters is simply a personal disappointment. Not to mention the fact that a bare-knuckle brawl between Juggernaut and the Tin-Man would have been true greatness. The former is a bigger crime. In every movie, Xavior has been neutered in some capacity. Call it a coma, call it a mental block, whatever. I was truly looking forward to Xavior flexing some mutant muscle... Especially against The phoenix. Although technically this battle was realized, it was early in the movie and all over for our great hero far to quickly and with such permanence it leaves you speechless. Perhaps that was the point.

Finally, some new characters managed to have a good showing... those being Juggernaut and Beast. Too bad Angel and Callisto couldn't be given more time. Honestly my favorite character from this installment was Kelsey Grammer's rendition of The Beast. It was the perfect balance of scientist and warrior. His sequences in the final battle were both rewarding and comical!

All in all, I'd recommend this movie to casual fans or rabid ones, but for different reasons. If you want to see a great action movie or an exciting but different version of your favorite franchise, The Last Stand is worth "standing" in line to see.