Like Father... not so much like son.

Found this funny nugget on the inter-webs back in 1999. Back in those days, you saved funny emails by printing them out. I can't take credit, but thought I would re-post for posterity sake.

INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry.

A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft.

Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old.

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp.

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control Ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault-

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never game me what I wanted for my birthday. Boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith. Wahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up.

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi Knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine.

Luke moves to step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader watches as Luke falls.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

Punctuation is Everything

I can speak from personal experience, as I finalize my first novel. I am about to self-publish digitally on Amazon, and I have been painstakingly going back over and over to fix punctuation and spelling. Take - for example - this impassioned plea to ask the baby seals of the world to stop clubbing... or er... did they mean something else?

The Few - The Proud - The Furry!

Hello, Blog-Country. It's been too long since our last visit. I promise to try harder in the future. Life and work have just conspired against our desire to be together! Oh well... at least we can enjoy the occasional blog-post.

This one is certainly worth dropping everything and sharing. As a father of two little boys who still enjoy sleeping with their favorite stuffed animal, this touched me, as both a parent, and an avid sci-fantasy aficionado. Perhaps my son's favorite stuffed pet, Buster, bravely guards his bed every night from the rabid beasts that lurk in the dark shadows.

Regardless of what really goes on while we blissfully slumber, it is this peace of mind that all children should have when they sleep soundly in their beds. If Buster provides that for my son, he most assuredly deserves knighthood for protecting my family!

The things your parents never tell you!

Based on some of the more recent comments from Gyuss, I could tell there was a great deal of sexual tension in the air. So I just wanted to be on the safe side and make sure that everyone out there in Blog Country was aware of this very serious national issue.



Please... please... save the kittens.

Big Fat Super Tuesday

As the rest of the world watches with baited breath the unfolding primary results, The Wheel in Space is gearing up for Mardis Gras. That's right folks. We'll be celebrating in style here at the Wheel and our first shipment of beads has already hit the loading dock. We're firing up the grill, and putting the margarita mix on ice. So come one come all, especially the ladies!!! Let me hear from you if you've got a great Gras Story to share.

I'm a Marvel... I'm a DC

Lovingly for Gyuss...

The Journey

I'd have to say that it all started when my Uncle Larry gave me 4 metal miniatures for my birthday when I was a kid. At that time I was very interested in fantasy fiction so he bought me a knight on horseback, a goblin, and two trolls. For me, they were the most intricate looking action figures I had ever owned. More importantly, I learned they were a small part of a larger set. I remember examining the back of the box for my next big miniature purchase. I wanted to collect them all. Of course the short attention span of a child, combined with the limited resources of an allowance, never allowed me to complete the set.

However, this didn't deter my interest in collecting. My focus merely shifted as I grew older. Later on I would collect comic books and specialties trading cards. As an adult I am rabid about owning a complete set of any movie or tv show that I deem worthy for my personal video library.

There a few collections that come along that might take decades to finish. I have one such collection that fits into this category and I am beginning to see the end in sight. As I scan down the list of the "Haves" and "Needs" I notice that the "Needs" section has become unexpectedly small. Considering the fact that it has taken me so long to get this far, I had never imagined that I might one day finish the collection. And now that the destination is in sight, I am surprised by the odd sadness that I feel because the journey was so enjoyable.

While I will soon be able to sit back and admire the completeness of my collection, I will always think back with fond memories of the joy I derived from the hunt for the next missing item or the anticipation of the next acquisition.

Whoever said: "Life is a journey, not a destination" must have been a collector.