NBA eyes the Cyber Family

I am filled with pride as I address the media, blog country, and all NBA fans. Mrs. Cyber and I have weighed all the options and we are excited to announce that our son, Lil' Higgins will become NBA draft eligible this year. This of course will clear the way for him to become the number 1 pick overall in the draft. It was a difficult decision but you have to take these opportunities when they are in front of you. Of course we all know about him as a player. The great ball handling skills, knowledge of the game, and overall athleticism. But do you know about Lil' Higgins the toddler? He has a great courtside presence, and his leadership skills are unquestioned. He'll be a great addition to any team and will likely be the cornerstone around the franchise. My son will not be taking questions at this time as he only knows how to say the words "Apple" "Mommy" and "Dog". But I can tell you as his father, manager, and publicist, he is excited about the challenge. Finally, you can all anticipate a follow-up press conference as I finalize negotiations for endorsement contracts with Adidas, Gatorade, and Pampers. That will be all, thank you and goodnight.

Long Time No See

In the fall of 1992 I was a young lad venturing forth into the great unknown. I was headed off to college and the only other person I had even spoken with was Gyuss. We were to be freshmen roommates so we had called each other to talk about color patterns for linens and the appropriate scent of potpourri as well as our preference for antiques versus modern furniture. But other than that, I knew not a single soul on campus. Shortly after our arrival on campus Gyuss and I began to make friends.

College is such a great time for friendship - with almost no limitations. I don't think I ever pondered how many people I would be able to keep up with in the long run. You lived in the moment. Looking back there have been some that I wonder about and regret not keeping in better touch. You know those people in your life, don't you? Let's see... like the girl next door that ended up becoming an exotic dancer, the crazy nerd that ended up inventing the ipod, or the whacky dude that always cracked you up with his bizarre yet side-splitting sense of humor.

It just so happens that I've run into that "funny guy" again and he has his own blog... 4 blogs in fact! So go check out Robert's stuff at Too Much Time On My Hands. I don't want to oversell his comedic genius but reading his work was an instant reminder of his off-beat funn-ac-ity... is that a word?

Book Review: Webster's Way With Words

Last night The Wheel in Space hosted it's Cyber-Book-Club. We've all been reading a really compelling piece of work by Merriam Webster called The Dictionary. Today I'm happy to share with Blog-Country my review of this ground breaking work.

I have to say it is a dauntingly dense read, while at the same time rich with layered subtext. Webster demonstrates his powerful mastery of the English language by weaving into his story an elaborate vocabulary the likes of which I have rarely seen in other work. Webster also impresses with a fine grasp of structured story telling. Each of its 36 chapters are neatly organized, creating a natural flow to the overall work.

Admittedly, the attention to detail is, at times, tedious. While some have blamed Tolkien for taking a paragraph to describe a blade of grass. Webster actually takes paragraphs to describe the words blade, grass, and even the word of!

Still, the precision, creative use of language, and the near perfect specificity make it a gripping tale worthy of any personal library. In fact, more than 35 million people agree with me if the sales numbers have anything to say about it. In short, I highly recommend you go out and purchase a copy of The Dictionary. It is a real page-turner!

Next Month, the Cyber-Club is going to tackle another one of Merriam's great works. The Thesaurus.

Have a Big Dirty Valentine

So Valentines has come and gone once again. The roses have started to wilt and the chocolates have now turned to those unwanted extra pounds on your body. Like most, I love Valentines Day. So much so I was too busy getting busy with my woman to post about it on the actual day. But this morning I had a very troubling experience. You know who I'm talking about... that's right... Big Dirty.

This morning I was taking my garbage out the alley when I notice Big Dirty curled up on my back porch shivering in his sleep... or maybe it was a drunken stooper. He was wearing only a blue blazer, a pair of tighty-whities, and some pink bunny slippers.

I attempted to quietly step over him, hoping I could dump my trash and get back inside before he woke up. Unfortunately Big Dirty has the acute senses of a bald eagle and he stirred almost instantly. The following conversation followed.

Big Dirty: Of course I love you baby! (turns head from side to side groggy) Oh hey, CyberD.

Me: Oh, hey. I was just taking out my trash.

Big Dirty: That's cool... Sometimes you got to kick the chicks to the curb.

(He proceeds to cough uncontrollably as he stands up and dusts off his blazer, covered in all manner of unidentifiable grime).

Me: So what are you doing here?

Big Dirty: Me? Oh... you know, just hangin' out. You want to go do something?

Me: I'm kinda busy. Gotta go to work.

Big Dirty: That's cool, I'll just hang here until you're done. We can go grab an Old Milwaukie later.

Me: I thought you were spending time with your lady friend this weekend.

Big Dirty: Oh yeah, we totally partied last night, but I decided that she was gettin' too clingy, man. Big Dirty's got to roll free and unfettered, ya know.

Me: So you broke it off?

Big Dirty: Well not so much me as... er... um...

Me: Oh! Dude. Sorry man.

Big Dirty: Nah... that's okay. I got to keep it real and all.

Me: So what happened to your clothes?

Big Dirty: I had no idea how conniving high school girls can be.

Me: What?

Big Dirty: Well, I decided to hit the Valentines Dance down at the high school. Ya know how it is. So one minute I'm rockin' out with some hot babes and the next minute I'm tied to a tree with no pants.

Me: You know high school girls are underage right?

Big Dirty: And fucking thieves too!

Me: Well, okay... so I guess I'll talk to you later.

Big Dirty: Totally, man. Call me when you're ready to get that beer!

Shameless Plug

Does anyone need a refresher on how big a geek I am? No? Okay... So in addition to being a huge fan of things like Doctor Who, Farscape, Star Wars, and yada yada yada, I'm also a monstro-fan of this late 90's Disney cartoon called Gargoyles. It came out while I was in college and a group of my friends made it a point to sit down every afternoon at 3pm to catch the latest episode. UrbanCowboy and Gyuss had the foresight to record episodes on VHS and I was lucky enough to make copies of their collection. So every so often I pull out the old VHS tapes and watch a few episodes of this fantastic story. For those of you who have never watched Gargoyles, I highly recommend it.

Essentially the story is about a group of Gargoyles from medieval times who are frozen in stone by a magic spell for a thousand years. They wake up after the spell is broken and find themselves living in Manhattan. They befriend a New York City cop and together attempt to resume life as protectors of the innocent. The writing is superb, the artwork is (at times) fantastic and the over-arching mythology is a growing tapestry of intrigue that will keep you entertained episode after episode. A few years ago the first season of Gargoyles came out on DVD. I snatched it up in a heartbeat and anxiously awaited season 2. Thankfully DVD sales were good so Disney released the first half of season 2. Unfortunately since that time it appears that DVD sales for the latest release were not as expected and there is a risk that season 2 - part 2 may not happen.

So if you are a fan of great storytelling, exquisite artwork, and edge of your seat adventure I encourage you to try out the Gargoyles series on DVD. Rent it, buy it, borrow it, but if you like it, consider adding it to your DVD library.

News Flash - Dagromm is a Jerk

These are the last four comments Dagromm has made on my blog:

Dagromm: I don't get this post. Please redo. (commenting on Slogan)

Dagromm: That picture is the second gayest picture that I've ever seen of you. (commenting on Big Fat Super Tuesday)

Dagromm: I saw this like forever ago. I thought about posting it then decided that it was lame just to post video clips. Don't get me wrong it's ok for the W.I.S. and everything, but people expect a little more from the H.O.D. (commenting on Simply Amazing)

Dagromm: I'm not into kids shows that teach them about animals. We live in the F'ing city. My kids aren't growing up to be zoo keepers shoveling elephant crap. I wish there were more shows for kids teaching them how to recognize a zone blitz or how to break down a cover 2. (commenting on Children's Television Potpourii)

Dags and I have known each other for some time so I don't know why I should expect anything different. In fact, his brand of comments are pretty typical for him, I guess it just stands out since he posts so infrequently now but MAN, I'd like to sneak up behind him and give him an atomic wedgie!

Slogan

So I've been trying out a new slogan for the year.

"Make it Great in 2008!"

But I'm finding that people feel it is a little over the top and somewhat annoying. I mean don't get me wrong, I love it! It has all the right ingrediants. It's positive, descriptive, and exuberant. What's not to love about it? But perhaps it does smack of sarcasim. Perhaps the world is just too jaded for such a slogan. In fact the last time I issued my slogan was to the check-out girl at my local grocery store. I could sware she rolled her eyes. Imagine the nerve!!!! And you wouldn't believe it but I'm pretty sure my neighbor gave me the finger after I told him to "Please rake your leaves and Make it Great in 2008!"

So it is with mixed emotions that I announce a new annual slogan. I've found something more fitting for the pesimistic and selfish times that we live in.

Enjoy:

Meandering Conversation

Have you ever had one of those circuitous conversations with a family member? It can be truely bizarre where those discussions can take you. This is a conversation I had with my sister while sitting at my desk during my lunch hour.

Ring Ring Ring

Me: Hello

Sis: Hey, Brother. How are you?

Me: Good, I'm just sitting here havig some lunch and surfing the net.

Sis: Really, what are you surfing?

Me: First off, never ask a man what he's surfing. Second, I'm checking out my old Yahoo Music radio station. I hadn't logged-on in over a year.

Sis: Point taken.

Me: Did you know that you can now watch music videos on Yahoo music?

Sis: No.

Me: Yeah, it's pretty cool. You learn something new everyday. Like take for example that Fergie song, Girls Don't Cry. I had no idea that the star of Heroes plays her boyfriend in the video. That's weird casting isn't it?

Sis: Who's Fergie?

Me: Come on, don't tell me you don't know Fergie. Being a new mom really does isolate you! Do I have to teach you everything?

Sis: Seriously. I don't know.

Me: You know... she used to be a part of the band The Black Eyed Peas. Now she's gone out on her own.

Sis: Oh yeah, she was on Oprah the other day. Actually, I think I may have known about Fergie longer than you.

Me: What do you mean?

Sis: I'll send you a link to YouTube so you can see for yourself.



Me: *Long Pause* Dear Lord... I had no idea...

Big Fat Super Tuesday

As the rest of the world watches with baited breath the unfolding primary results, The Wheel in Space is gearing up for Mardis Gras. That's right folks. We'll be celebrating in style here at the Wheel and our first shipment of beads has already hit the loading dock. We're firing up the grill, and putting the margarita mix on ice. So come one come all, especially the ladies!!! Let me hear from you if you've got a great Gras Story to share.