Behind the Scenes

In keeping with a format that good ol' Dagromm started a few months back, I thought I would share a little behind the scenes action between me and The Q.

-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Date: Thursday September 20, 2007 11:35 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Why the fuck will my comments not post on your blog? I've tried to comment like four times and none of them have registered!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Date: Thursday September 20, 2007 11:38 AM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Fixed it

You were marked as spam. I blame Gus Bladder again for that


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 12:03 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

I blame gus bladder for the price per barrel of gasoline being what it is today. Bastard!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:11 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Dude, just a heads up. Our Fantasy Football Team SUCKS!


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:13 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

What are you talking about? We've got it made... just a little tweak here and there and we've made it... by the way... your blog is blocking my comments still!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:14 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

No, I just hate you


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:15 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

You better fix that shit or there's going to be hell to pay!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:16 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Smoke


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:17 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Don't even think about it.


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:18 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

My


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:19 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Don't you dare.


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:20 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Pole

-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:21 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Damn it! Reeeeeeally subtle, Q-dog.


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 4:12 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Dude that is what I am known for. Well that and the stalking. Well those two and that indecent exposure thing. Whatever


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2004 4:59 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Good times, good times...

The First One Always Feels Good

The Sports Donkey Lollipop Buffet got its first win of the season. The Q and I made an important change at quarterback and started Jake Delhomme over the hapless Drew Brees. What a douche! Now we just have to decide if we are going to cut the bastard. With a 1-2 record it's just a matter of clawing our way to the top!

Where in the World is Dagromm?

Many of you have expressed genuine concern for the where abouts of one Dagromm Q. Flailbreath, otherwise known as Dags. There is much speculation going on over at The House of Dagromm as his usual string of postings has now completely ceased all together. As many of you know, The Crotch Wizards are a very tight group and we keep each other on speed-dial at all times. With Q in the hospital and Gyuss trapped inside the Big Monkey Comics back-room (doing God knows what), it was up to me to get down to the bottom of this.

With his busy new job, my first thought was that he had barricaded himself at his office so that's where I headed first. Much to my surprise I ran into Big Dirty pacing back and forth in the lobby. Apparently Big Dirty hadn't seen Dags in two weeks and Dirty had finally snapped. He did not greet me with his usual, "Hell yeah!" In fact he didn't greet me at all. He only continued his pacing back and forth, while ringing his hands together. After checking with reception I learned that he hadn't shown up to work in several days so I headed to his house.

When I got there the front door was ajar and his entire yard had been toilet papered. For a minute I thought perhaps his soccer team had played a practical joke on the old man but this theory quickly evaporated when I stepped inside to see none other than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. He was in the middle of the living room emptying an entire box of laundry detergent onto the carpet while muttering the phrase, "Payback is a bitch!"

The Rock noticed me when I walked in and he tossed the box of detergent over the back of his head and into the dinning room. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Hey The Rock. I haven't seen you in months.

The Rock: Oh yeah... I've been busy making money and sleeping with hot women.

Me: Yeah, I know what you mean.

The Rock: So what are you doing here?

Me: I guess I could ask you that same question.

The Rock: Oh, I just came by to give Dagromm that twenty dollars I owe him, but it doesn't look like he is home.

Me: So what's with the detergent?

The Rock: What detergent?

Me: (Pointing silently at the mound of powder on the floor)

The Rock: That was there when I got here.

Me: Okay, well I guess I better get going, The Rock.

The Rock: By the way, CyberD. How is The Quad?

Me: Huh? Oh you mean The Crotch Wizards.

The Rock: Right, I was just checking to see if there were any openings.

Me: Sorry, not at the moment.

The Rock: Yeah, that's cool. I got a big photo shoot in Cancun tomorrow anyway so it's not like I could join you guys for your next poker night... even if you were needing a fourth person to replace someone who might be missing.

Me: Right... well, good luck with the photo-shoot.

I exited the front door and headed home. I suppose the world may never know what happened to good ol' Dagromm.

What is wrong with me?

I'm often reminded of my child's innocent nature when he invariably throws down a phrase that makes my inner-junior-high-self chuckle. My son got some new toys for his 3rd birthday this weekend.

He has now reached the stage where he is no longer content to just bang a stick against a wall or roll balls across the floor. He is practicing pretend play so horses have to chase each other around the house and super heroes are always in the business of saving other toys from their troubles.

Yesterday his new Superman and Wonder Woman action figures were bravely swooping down onto the breakfast table and lifting a various assortment of wildlife animals onto their backs, saving them from a deadly fire!

In this particular case my son wanted to make it clear to me which animal belonged to each superhero. The following conversation ensued:

Lil' Magnum: We got to save the animals, Daddy!

Me: Okay, son. Which animals should we save first?

Lil' Magnum: This is Superman's Rhino, Daddy!

Me: Wow, Superman saved a rhinoceros. That's great!

Lil' Magnum: This is Wonder Woman's Beaver!

Me: (Very long pause attempting to hold back my hysteria) That's... great... son. I'm glad Wonder Woman saved her beaver.


I'm a terrible father.

A Chance Encounter with The Dick

I was in the campus bookstore with about eight coworkers when I noticed a famous former NFL star browsing the sweatshirts. Now you have to understand, I'm not one of those lucky types that always has a funny story about this famous person I saw at the airport or that famous person I bumped into at the coffee shop. I worked in LA for THREE MONTHS and never even saw a single famous person!

So you can imagine my giddy surprise of seeing another former NFL player after having met Roger Staubach a little over one year ago! This time it was none other than Eric Dickerson. What was so funny was that the four men in my group of coworkers were like moths to a flame. We drifted over in his direction almost immediately while the four ladies in the room were still focusing on the best cut of t-shirt and if the store had it in pink or baby-blue.

Us boys were later chided for paying homage to one of football's greats. I simply replied that my shameless pandering was not for me but for the bragging rights amongst my social circles... of which this blog is one!

So yeah, the encounter itself was awesome. I even managed to make him laugh by suggesting that he needed to put on a uniform and play for his former college team.

Good times... good times.

A Battle Royale with Cheese

And now for the cous de gras. Back in the spring of 2006 I started my blog off with a BANG! A few personal anecdotes here, a Doctor Who review there. Following that I presented the worlds greatest showdown. I geek-love-fest to end all geek-love-fests.

I present to you the Battle Royale!

11 posts, 64 contestants, 63 battles, and thousands of adrenaline pumping moments of juicy combat. I encourage you to start from the bottom and work your way up. So as not to be spoiled! I think quite possibly none more need be said on the subject of how truly geeky I am!

I mean Business Plan!

The year was 2003. The season was Fall. The class was a capstone course for my MBA called Entrepreneurial Strategy. We spent an entire semester creating a full blown business plan. And I don't mean that undergraduate bull-shit that passes for a business plan but is really just a glorified book report. I'm talking about identifying a new business concept, conducting research on the budgetary constraints and market forces surrounding that concept, developing a full blown Cash Flow Statement, Income Statement, and Balance Sheet on a five year projection for the proposed business, creating a marketing plan and sample materials for the business, calculating the potential financial yield for investors and then presenting our plan to a group of our peers and a panel of guest business professors.

This class was the Super Bowl of my MBA experience. It required countless hours of research and preparation, it caused knockd-down arguments between my project partner and me, and it required the courage of Hercules to know that your complete work would be on display to the entire MBA community. But it was by far and away... head and shoulders... unequivocally... the best experience in the program for me. I had the time of my life because we chose to do devise a business around the Collectible Card Game (CCG) industry.

The CCG industry is built on the backs of the millions of rabid sci-fi/fantasy geeks who knock down doors to purchase the latest incarnation of their favorite sci-fi/fantasy genres in game form, so that they can broaden and deepen their personal experience with said franchises. While other MBA hopefuls were presenting business plans about RFID technology, international banking, and venture capital markets, I was talking about a card game. Original content meets personal passion, my friends!

Why Who?

Many of you know that I am a shameful lover of all things Doctor Who. Up until Farscape it was my unequivocal favorite television show of all time, and that's before the new Who series came out. Most in geekdom place the likes of Star Wars, Star Trek, and other American programs in their top favorite shows but so do many "averge joes." However the mainstream viewing audience wouldn't know a sonic screwdriver even if it jumped up and bit them in the ass.

So what is Doctor Who, you ask? And why does CyberD, the bastion of good taste, speak so highly of it? To the uninitiated, Doctor Who is a British sci-fi series, originally produced and screened by the BBC from 1963 to 1989 with a new series launched in early 2005. It is about a wandering traveler of time and space who stumbles across injustice and wrong doing across the universe, and comes to the rescue of those subjugated by evil.

The longevity of this program and the lengths to which passionate fans have successfully returned the series to a modern format is unprecedented. The reason the show is able to reinvent itself so readily is the due to the main characters unique ability to regenerate his body, thereby recasting the lead actor. This bohemian vagabond is a unique intergalactic hero who defeats a vast cornucopia of villainous enemies with a superior intellect rather than a super firearm.

I am proud to say that Doctor Who has been a viewing staple for me since I was just a young cyber-lad. My avatar and blog are a homage to the series. I've burned up miles of VCR tape recording old episodes for my personal library. I even attended a Doctor Who convention when I was in junior high! Wow, I've never admitted that to anyone!

That actually felt kind of good! I feel so... alive! So full of... splendor! I feel like the first ray of sun as it kisses the cool morning dew with its soft warm radiance!

Please excuse me while I strip off all my clothes and run naked through a field of wheat!

It is well and truly ON!

It should be known that nobody questions the geek-cred of CyberD at The Wheel. One can scurry off to a dark stinky cave and pretend to know the difference between a Tavloid and a Tavlek, but here at The Wheel we know the score!

When it comes to debating the merits of Star Wars vs. Star Trek, the plot fallacy of a time paradox, or the life-long acting contribution of Warwick Davis, I am here to say that I can pop, drop, and lock it with the best of them!

If the realm of science fiction and fantasy entertainment was a runway than I am a coked up, anorexic, slightly bi-curious supermodel ready to strut her stuff!

Armor Plated Goodness

It's strange you know? I don't play HALO. Hell, I don't even own the gaming system required to play HALO and yet I feel that I desperately need one of these. If not for Halloween this year, than for playing paintball, and if not for playing paintball, perhaps for the bedroom!



Maybe it is my Y chromosome kicking into overdrive! That or my geek chromosome... or both!