It got me thinking about all the different work-lessons we teach ourselves. The type of stuff that they don't tell you in the classroom. I'd like to humbly submit this little nugget of wisdom as one of a series that I plan to share. Call it a multi-part lesson in how to get ahead while doing nothing.
It's sort of a guide to maximizing your earning power while minimizing any actual work you do for a living. For me it typifies that goal of working to live and not living to work. I like to call this one:
- I love the smell of email in the morning -
As a parent to Lil' Magnum and Lil' Higgins my wife and I are often up in the early hours of the morning. Consequently, I tend to go ahead and leave for work ASAP. Whatever your reason for being at the office at the butt-crack of dawn, it's always important that people know how committed you are to your work. Never mind the fact that from 6:30am to 9:00am I'm catching up on all my favorite TV shows on-line. No, the important issue is that your boss and coworkers know how committed you are to having you ass planted at the office.
Now if you're lucky enough to be a non-except paid employee than you don't have to worry about this, because your time-card will tell the whole story. But if you are a salaried employee than you don't earn the benefits of overtime. It's great when you want to go sneak out for an extra long lunch and see Spider-Man 3, but it sucks when you are either working early or working late.
That brings us to the strategy:
I want to make sure as many people know that I'm working early (or late) so I send out emails. Perhaps it's a response you've been meaning to give a co-worker. Maybe it's an update on a project for your boss. Or even if it is the generic FYI to anyone and everyone, send it now! There's no guarantee, but I think there is a better than even chance people notice what time the email got sent. I know that one can program an email to be sent on delay but be wary of such attempts. You never know when the boss might actually be in the office early and discovers your little ruse. No, the best bet is to send the emails when you are actually in the office. Don't worry about actually working. Surf the net, download some music, or in my case - watch some TV! The best part about it is no commercials!
30 comments:
it used to be that when i smoked i could duck out a few times for a smoke and waste about 10 minutes each time. now i don't have that to fall back on when i just want some peace and quiet. now what do i do? i mean after all, just how many trips to the bathroom can you make in 8 hours?
This is one of the reasons I never want to go salary.
When I work, I get paid. When I don't want to work, I don't get paid but no one cares as long as I'm showing a profit to the company each quarter.
Heather, approximately 62 times if you have a liberal work place. Just keep an empty water bottle with you at all times.
Gyuss, me too. Well I am salary but I am non-exempt so I get state and federal over time with the ability to duck out for a long lunch. State jobs are the shit.
Salary AND overtime? That is the greatest job ever!
heather - You can make an almost infinite number of bathroom breaks. No company has a policy about using the restroom and if you go a lot they will think you have a medical condition and think that you are protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act. The harder part is figuring some way to take you book/laptop/magazine/bong in there.
CyberD - I think this really is a good lesson to people. Even if you are just passing by the area where your office is after hours then it's probably a good idea to run in and send an e-mail to your boss. They won't know that was all you did. They'll think you're super committed in no time.
Dagromm/Heather, Don't take a bong in the bathroom. Get a smaller pipe that will fit in your pocket, that way you can be less discrete...
Gyuss, Damn Skippy!
Does this still work in the Blackberry era?
heather, keep a look out for upcoming posts that deal with smoke-breaks and the lunch that looks like one our but feels like two. More to come!
G, I do think being non-exept has its privelages.
Q, Empty water bottle. Good one!
G, No kidding. Q's job rocks!
Dags, I always take a legal pad and slip the latest copy of Entertainment weekly in the pages. That way as I walk down the hall people think I'm on my way to a meeting but once I hit the stall I can hunker down for a nice long read. Also... good recommendation on the enhancement of the Email Rule.
G, most blackberry's tell recipiant that the message was sent via some mobil device. Like Goodlink or whatever. But if you send the email from your machine than it doesn't have that message. Sophisticated emails will notice if you are using your handheld to try and pull this off. Attachments also help add weight to the impression of you dilligently working at your desk!
Cyberman, I wasn't asking you, I was asking Q.
Gyuss, absolutely!
I once worked in an office where by an accident of the office layout, I essentially had a private bathroom. Despite it being the worst job I ever had, that was nice. I read through 20 years of Doonesberry cartoons that year.
Oh my god! that would completely one up my job. I am thinking about asking for a toilet in my new Server Room. Then I would have an independently climate controlled private restroom.
I enjoyed this post and all the attached comments.
Scooter, Thanks!
I think that Scooter has gone to giving us all cursory comments. I'm calling you out Scooter!
It was a sincere comment, Dagromm. I understand how hard it would be for you to recognize sincerity when you read it. I liked the post, I laughed at all the comments. Was my comment without merit unless I have something derogatorily funny to say? That's how the Quad rolls?
Dagromm, I am totally going to have to stand behind Scooter on this. You were way out of line.
G, Screw you! It's my blog and I'll comment if I want to.
G, Doonesberry? Didn't you have anything better?
Fringes, Glad to know you enjoyed the post.
Q, You're such a jokester!
Dags, Do I detect hostility?
Fringes, I can't speak for the rest of The Quad, but... I will. We do enjoy our sarcastic humor!
fringes - Reverse calling me out huh? Alright. Embrace your hate. It makes you strong.
Q - Out of line is where I make my home. Feel free to write me at:
Dagromm
#1 House of Dagromm Place
Out of Line, TX 75666
CyberD, I like sarcasm, too. It's fun. I'll try to kick it up a notch even when it's not necessarily called for. I am the sarcastic fringehead after all. Thanks!
Cyberman, speak when spoken to. And no love for Doonesberry. You are soooo Republican.
Dagrom nd Scooter, you're all out of order! This whole blog is out of order!
Gyuss - sorry. (hangs head in shame)
jiminy freakin cripus you guys! i leave for one day and you've stooped to picking on fringes! get a grip.
dags, i would need a laptop, my ipod and a zeplin. or my marbeled glass pipe. both are small enough to conceal but i feel the the zeplin provides the proper work dose. after all, you don't want to fall asleep there. there's no beer there. ;-)
cyberd, did i thank you yet for beckham? *sigh*
finges, I'll be the first to admit that misplaced or shoe-horned sarcasim can be annoying. But living with The Quad is kind of like living with heroine. You know it's bad for you but when you try it you like it. Pretty soon you don't want anymore but you find that you can't help yourself and eventually your body can't live without it!
Gyuss, don't make me come over there and cyber you really hard! I know you'll never forget that one time at band camp!
heather, always glad to be of service.
Heather's right. You all need to leave Fringes alone. I support Heather and Fringes on this one.
Can we go back to picking on CyberD now?
Absolutely!
I'm in!
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