Simply Amazing!

The results of this play have not been altered through computer graphics. It's one of the most amazing series of laterals you'll ever see. I can't give kudos to the man who edited this thing together, man must he be an annoying douche bag. But it's worth watching!

Children's Television Potpourri

All parents know the familiar love-hate relationship you have with television programming for kids. On one hand it can be a useful educational tool, teaching your children about sharing, caring, and other important life lessons. On the other hand it is more often then not a vacuous, empty, repository, for meaningless junk that will rot your child's brain all the while teaching your children that they will die without the latest toy, gizmo, or junk food snack. And even though the later is more often the case than the former, we as parents find ourselves allowing the impressionable minds of our dear children to be influenced by everything from the sublime to the ridiculous. The main reason being that despite its drawbacks, the respite that we parents need to do other things around the house would be impossible without the help of the electric glow of television. With both my boys being sick this last week we had an extra dose of TV-time and this is what I learned about my son's viewing habits.

Zaboomafoo



I learned that a kids show about animals can kick-ass. This is actually a decent program. Every episode children learn about different animals, where they live, what they eat, and a multitude of other interesting facts. The Kratt Brothers host the program along side their adorable leaping lemur pal, Zaboomafoo. The brothers aren't to terribly annoying and Zaboo is actually a tolerable puppet character. All in all I give this show two thumbs way up!

Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperfoce Go



I learned that programing for kids ages 6-12 years old is going to rock. My son isn't old enough to appreciate these types of shows yet but I can hardly wait. I mean who wouldn't love a show that has the word Hyperforce in the title... and the word Monkey... and Robot... and Super... and Go! I watched just a few minutes of this show late one afternoon while the boys were taking there naps. Good stuff.

LazyTown



Finally, I learned that for every good wholesome piece of programming there is it's antithesis - its ying to the other's yang. I don't know where my son first noticed the show LazyTown. I think it was on the Nick Jr. website. All I can think to say is... what the F-ing hell? I'm not sure how to describe this show. Weird beyond measure... like Captain Kangaroo on acid and steroids... like... like... well, just see for yourself.

Playoffs!?!?!

It was a rough weekend of football. I was so excited going into it because I was determined to watch all four playoff games... and I did! From that standpoint it was glorious by any measure. But the results were less then desirable. Things started off well with the Sea-Bags losing to The Pack on the literal "Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field!!!" The best part about this game was watching these professionals fight, scratch, slide, and generally duke it out in a driving blizzard. What a great game. Little did I know that the venerable Favre heading for the NFC championship game would have so much more meaning by weekends end. Unfortunately the other three games didn't go quite as well.


As predicted that unstoppable juggernaut that is the New England Patriots proved once again that if you are the upstart Jaguars and you make stupid mistakes and throw costly interceptions, Bill Belichick will fuck you in the ass like nobodies business. Brady managed to still play with perfect hair and not impregnate any more super-models during the game. Randy Moss managed to play with vomit inducing perfection. And Coach Bill continued to be a real charmer. With this Jacksonville loss it meant that the Sunday game between the Chargers and Colts was all the more important.


In my opinion the Colts are the better matched team to beat the Patriots so I was cheering on the illustrious Peyton Manning and his noble soldiers of fortune. Too bad they played with so little urgency that an injury riddled San Diego had no trouble keeping and holding their second-half lead. Never in my life would I award a game ball to a punter until Sunday. That son of a bitch is a stud. Even when the Colts defense did their job that punter managed to put the Colts offense in bad situations ever time! It is now the whiny ass of LaDanian Tomlinson up against Pretty Boy Brady.


To cap off a really shit-pile weekend of football the Cowboys and Tony Romo coughed up a giant turd of a loss to the underdog Giants. Wade Phillips said to the media in the post game press conference that the better team lost and that we should be happy with a 13-3 season. Hmmmmmm.... I may be a football idiot but doesn't the win define the better team? Doesn't falling short of potential deserve feelings of disappointment? The Cowboys have no excuse and I am now officially putting Wade Phillips on my "you better watch the hell out" list. I think everyone here understands what that means!


So it comes down to these championship games. I'm no too pleased with the teams in the AFC and I'm not impressed with the inconsistent play of the Giants so here's to Green Bay and their salty captain. Go Pack Go!

I'm a Marvel... I'm a DC

Lovingly for Gyuss...

It's All About ME... me!

My First Meme... Thanks, Susan.



1. This is an all time FAMILY classic: Lil' Higgins and The Big Tuna.

2. Keep your FRIENDS close: Vacation Holiday.

3. Is there better subject matter than YOURSELF? I think not: Whack Job.

4. My LOVE has no limits: With EXTRA on top!.

5. THE GRAB BAG: Big Dirty Re-Boot.

Pig Skin Grab-Bag

As the old year winds to a close and the dawn of a new year begins there are so many things one could take time to ponder. Me? I'll ponder the last vestiges of the 2007 season of the National Football League. From a fantasy perspective it's been another bad year. Well, not all bad. The Sports Donkey Lollipop Buffet pulled itself out of complete disaster and made a strong run for a play-off berth. Alas, we came up short. A condition that Q is all too familiar with. I'd like to thank all those that continued to believe in The Buffet and a giant "F-You" to Randy Moss for old times sake.



On the subject of the New England Patriots. It turns out those cheating bastards managed to do what no other team since 1972 has done. I tip my hat to those son's of bitches for not losing a single regular season game. It's funny you know. It's not everyday that you can watch history in the making. You would think that I might cheer on the Patriots, simply to be able to say to my grandchildren that I witnessed perfection at work in 2007. But for some reason I couldn't help but wish for failure upon them. I even stayed up to watch the Giants cough up a turd against them on Saturday night. Perhaps it is the fact that I'm a Colts fan, mind you, not a huge Colts fan but a fan none the less. Perhaps it was because they were caught cheating and I hate cheaters. More likely, it is the fact that Bill Belichick is a complete douche and everyone knows I hate a good douche! Anyway, I've still got three more games of hope to keep me going. That's the beauty of a perfect season. It isn't entirely perfect until you win the Super Bowl. So Go Cowboys!!!!!!!!



Finally, with the play-offs looming, one can't help but think about life without football once again. It happens every year and yet I am still caught unprepared for the long lonely months that lie ahead. The NFL does a decent job of giving you little morsels along the way, but it's really nothing more than a giant tease. The Draft? After round 1 who cares? The NFL pro-bowl? Please! It sucks. The Combine? That's really more for college football lovers and generic sports junkies. No, the best I can hope for is some great off-field antics by some misguided players. Take this last year for example... In some ways, I have Micheal Vick to thank for getting me back into the spirit of football earlier than usual. Don't get me wrong, There's a special place in hell reserved for that bastard, but I have to admit, it was nice to go into the Mr. Gatti's for lunch last summer and already see ESPN analysts talking about the future of the Atlanta Falcons. Good times... good times.



So I guess I'll leave you with these last nuggets of wisdom. Remember it is always better to give than to receive. Gyuss taught me that back in college. Auld Lang Syne is old Scottish for "Old Long Since," and Fuck Randy Moss!

The Reason for the Season

It's been a busy holiday season. My office conducts more business in the months of November and December than the entire rest of the year combined, so you can imagine every minute counts. Consequently, the blog has suffered. But we always have to remind ourselves why we do what we do. Why do I put in long hours of travel with nights away from family? Why do I work so hard that even the blog goes without attention? When I look at some of my all time favorite family pictures, I am reminded. Because at the end of the day, nothing is more important than knowing that I have worked my hardest to provide the ones I love with everything they deserve.

Me and Lil' Magnum Playing Superman


Mrs. Cyber and Lil' Magnum at the Halloween Carnival 2006


A Quiet Moment Between Lil' Magnum and Lil' Higgins


Me, Lil' Higgins, and Lil' Magnum at Home


Me and Lil' Higgins


Mrs. Cyber and Lil' Higgins at Disneyland


Lil' Higgins in his Turkey Day Outfit



MERRY CHRISTMAS BLOG COUNTRY!

Thanksgiving Report Card

Well, it was one hell of a Thanksgiving. We got off to a rockin' start, making it to the airport with ten whole minutes to spare before our plane boarded. I actually had time to take Lil' Magnum to tinkle before leaving, the only problem is that he ran out of the bathroom without holding my hand and almost got his clock cleaned by one of those lazy person shuttles that drive around the terminal. Damn lazy people! Magnum got a stern talking to for that one.

The flight went rather well with only a few minor outbursts by Lil' Higgins, who (being only 8 months old) didn't understand how to handle the ear pain that comes with pressure changes. After landing, we waiting in baggage claim for an inordinately long amount of time but that was off-set by the fact that I spotted the minor celebrity, Shannon Elizabeth. All in all I give the airport and flight experience an A-.



After arriving at my cousin's pad I began to feel like real donkey crap. Low energy, aches, pains, etc. etc. Up to this point we believed our kids had minor colds but if they gave me something, it was much worse because I came down with a massive fever and spent the next 14 hours in bed trying to rest up for the planned day trip to Disneyland. All in all I give the afternoon of being sick a C+. Sleeping for 14 hours rocked but I felt terrible.

Luckily my illness was either massive dehydration, body fatigue, or a 24 hour flu, because I woke up the next day feeling refreshed and ready for Disney. We took our boys to the park and my oldest had a blast. We had a few hick-ups along the way but overall it was great fun. We didn't get to ride as many rides as we would have liked due to the fact that moving around with a stroller and two little ones just takes time. I give Disneyland a B-.



Thanksgiving Day was a complete beat-down. To be honest the Dallas and Green Bay games were the best part about the day. Had I known about the Indy game I might have given Thursday a better grade, but I missed that game. The food was okay, but the kids were in rare form. They must have been overly tired (from the day before) because Mrs. Cyber and I didn't really get to enjoy much turkey or stuffing. We dealt with bratty behavior all day. Overall I give Turkey Day a D-.

Friday was extra special because my cousin provided tickets to the Broadway musical Wicked! Mrs. Cyber and I hadn't been to a musical in years sot we jumped at the chance to abandon the boys and go out for an adult evening. The musical rocked, although it wasn't the best I had seen and I only feel a little gay confessing this so I give Wicked and Friday an A-.



Finally the trip back was okay... only that we didn't get home until 9pm on Saturday. The boys were trashed and went to be immediately but Mrs. Cyber had to go out and get the dog that night. Overall the flight home went well except for the liter of ginger ale in my lap. I give the travel day a C.

So my total grad for the trip is a C+. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with kids under the age of 4.

Rock me!

Panic

I woke up this morning with the realization that I am about to board a five hour flight tomorrow from Cybertown, U.S.A. to Los Angeles with my wife, two sons who both have head colds, and my parents.

I myself have recently strained my left wrist for some unknown reason, although my doctor tells me it was from over-use... whatever that means. I'm checking two car seats, a double stroller, and enough bags of clothes, toys, and various miscellaneous items to stock a large department store!

I am insane.

Diagnosis: Dumb Ass

I'm sure you're like me. Worried about the magical, mystical, Q. His site has been down for weeks and I fear it may never return. But it has been a busy November and I haven't had a chance to call the man until just the other day. The following conversation occurred...

(Phone ringing)

Q: Hello (in weak voice)

Me: Hey, Q! How you doing?

Q: Not to well, Cyber D.

Me: Really? What's wrong?

Q: Well, I'm bad sick.

Me: That's terrible, did you catch the flu bug that's been going around?

Q: No, I think I caught the AIDS.

(Long pause)

Me: What??? You're kidding.

Q: No, man. I feel terrible. Like I'm about to die.

Me: So how did this happen?

Q: I don't know, you know how easy it is to spread germs.

Me: Well, not really. You have to have had unprotected sex or shared a dirty drug needle to get AIDS. Have you done that?

Q: Hell no!

Me: Well then I don't think you have AIDS.

Q: Did you go to medical school, Cyber D?

Me: No.

Q: I suppose I should start calling you Doctor Cyber D now, eh?

Me: Don't be foolish, Q. You don't have the AIDS.

Q: I told you I feel like I'm about to die.

Me: What are your symptoms?

Q: The usual. Runny nose, sore throat, fever, aches and pains. But I've taken a Tylenol and I'm feeling a little better. Still, there's no stopping the AIDS. I suppose it's only a matter of time.

Me: So I suppose Q's Corner isn't coming back.

Q: Not unless I can blog from the grave.

Me: You're not dying, Q.

Q: I'm making out my will now.

Me: Really? What am I getting?

Q: A deer carcass.

(Long Pause)

Me: I love venison!

Q: I know!

Me: Especially with A-1 steak sauce.

Q: Who doesn't?

Me: You know me so well...

Q: And you - me, Cyber D.

Me: So you'll have your mom call me for the funeral right? I've got to run to the grocery store.

Q: No problem.

Look Out! It's an Origin Story!!

I know Blog Country has wondered for years now how my off-spring came by their inter-web monikers of Lil' Magnum and Lil' Higgins. Some may believe it was random choice. Others might assume some secret code for a specific personality trait. I stand before you today to reveal the awful truth. Like the name of CyberD, their web-names were born out of a Quad moment.

It was the spring of 2004 when Dagromm, the illustrious Q, and I gathered for lunch at our favorite little whole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. As usual I ordered enchiladas and a glass of ice (as I always bring my own soda to the table). Q and Dagromm rolled their eyes at my B.Y.O.B policy before ordering fajitas for two and a single milk shake and one curly straw.

As I finished my tasty plate of spicy enchiladas and the Q and Dags teased each other over the last strip of Mexican beef, the conversation turned to the upcoming birth of my fist son. At the time Mrs. Cyber and I hadn't decided on his name so Q and Dags pushed hard for something suitably manly for a Quad off-spring. Dags warned me about naming my son something like Ashley or Leonard, lest he be the object of bully-hatred his entire life. I then jokingly said that not all children can grow up to be bad ass like Tom Sellek. Q than asked if I was referring to Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck or Quigley Down Under Tom Selleck because the Quigley Sellek was a little gay.

Dags immediately chimed in with the bombastic opinion that I name my son Magnum. Specifically Magnum Philonious Ignatius or Magnum P.I. for short. I reminded them that if I insisted on such a name, my wife would likely shoot me in the face while I slept. But they decided that my decision didn't matter. My first born child would always be Lil' Magnum to them. As you can see in the photo, Dags was never more serious. He gave Lil' Mag this shirt the day he was born. My son has now fully embraced the persona and occasionally tests the quality and thickness of his ongoing mustache like in this picture.

The Quad tips our hat to you, Lil' Magnum!

Happy and Healthy... It's So EASY!!!

My wife and I are like many other couples in their mid thirties with multiple children. We're strapped for time, money, energy, and sleep. It shouldn't be a surprise that the stresses of life, work, and parenting can take it's toll on the body. We see the aging process occurring live and in living color and nobody likes that. The glorification of youth has never been more present in our culture and I'm not immune to the desire to lose weight, look younger, and remain relevant in a constantly changing society.

So like many others, we occasionally try to turn over a new leaf, be it diet, exercise, or any other multitude of things. But what really sets me off are these articles on the news and talk shows that try to tell you how easy it is to add years to your life, lose fifty pounds, and have limitless energy. It's always just three simple steps isn't it? That's because they teach you in presentations 101 that an audience can't follow anything longer than three steps. The fact of the matter is, it's never that easy!

Let's take last night for example. Mrs. Cyber and I had finally got the kids down for the night around 9pm. We look around at the house and it is a complete wreck. Dishes piling up, toys strewn about everywhere, laundry needing to be done, etc. etc. You get the idea. As we are cleaning we have a popular talk show running on the television in the background. Once again, the host and her guest is tells us about three simple steps that will give us a happy and healthier life. This includes avoiding high fat and high sugar foods. It also includes just thirty minutes of exercise every day. Finally the most important thing is to get more sleep.

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

So you mean to tell me that between the sleepless nights we suffer with our infant, we have to find away to make all our meals at home (to avoid fast food) that then requires us to keep back the avalanche of dirty dishes that comes with eating at home every meal. If that isn't enough we also are expected to fit in thirty minutes of exercise. That requires getting up earlier than usual in order to exercise before the kids awake (or I leave for work) because once the kids are up and at it, it's all about their busy schedule. Finally, and MOST importantly, go to bed early to get more sleep. Screw me sideways! How is all of this possible? You either have to have super-speed or an army of servants to do all the dirty work in your home.

I give up! I'm going to McDonald's!

Sweet-Clean Programming

With stinkers like Bionic Woman and Chuck laying big fat turds all over your TV set this fall, I thought it high time a few underrated shows get some positive pub. In no particular order I recommend all these beauties and they get my CyberD official stamp of approval.


My first recommendation on this list is Pushing Daisies. This smart and quirky program initially caught my eye with its bold visuals and bizarre premise. The main character, Ned is a Pie Maker. Ever since he was young Ned has had the creepy ability to make the dead live again. Unfortunately if he touches them again they die permanently. If this power wasn't twisted enough, if a person is revived for more than 60 seconds, someone else nearby dies. After a series of circuitous events in the first episode, Ned becomes partnered with a private investigator named Emerson Cod, and his childhood crush, the previously-dead Charlotte Charles. This crime fighting trio now goes about reviving the dead in order to solve their murders and collect outstanding cash rewards as a result. This funny yet twisted tale is a combination of a murder mystery, drama, and comedy all rolled into one. It's really a mys-dram-edy! And it's damn good. Check it out on Wednesday nights on ABC at 8/7c.


My second recommendation is a show called Hotel Babylon. This brash and sexy British drama is a gateway into the world of 5-star hotels. The stories center around Charlie, the new manager, and other dedicated staff as they attempt to cater to the outrageous demands of the guests of Hotel Babylon. Charlie also serves as the narrator, providing general themes for each episode such as the eccentricities of the rich and famous, the debauchery that hotel patrons partake in, or the ability for hotel staff to save or destroy the lives of their guests. Be careful, you may just find that Hotel Babylon becomes your guilty pleasure of this fall season. Check it out on Wednesday nights on BBC America at 9/8c.


Finally, my last recommendation is a show regularly mentioned on my blog and that's Dancing with the Stars. This celebrity-based-reality-tv-contest-show never ceases to amaze me. There have been five seasons of this series and I still get a kick out of watching every week. The current season is about half-way through its run, which means all the really poor celebrities have been kicked off, leaving nothing but the best of the best. Never fear, this is an equal opportunity skin fest with ample flesh on both sides of the isle. That means there is plenty to see for the whole family. The really good news is that almost every season includes a wardrobe malfunction and this hasn't happened yet so you haven't missed anything. Tune in on Monday nights on ABC at 8/7c.

News Report: One Happy Wizard

You can imagine my surprise when I turned on the news this morning to find that JKR has officially announced that the character of Albus Dumbledore was gay. My first thought was wow! My next thought was, wondering if Dumbledore's music collection included the great works of Abba and George Micheal.

I'd make an argument about how the character didn't need that clarification by the author but it is her character... so more power to you, JK.

I need a hero!

Okay, so you'll never guess what happened on Tuesday. I walk out of my office on the one year anniversary of my first day at this job and I notice a campus police officer taking a statement from a student who had her car window shattered. Apparently there were some break-ins in the parking lot that my office shares with student parking. Then I notice a strip of metal on the outside of my driver's side door had been pulled out. It was bent and sticking out at an odd angle. It looked as if the hoodlums attempted to break into my car as well.

Luckily they didn't gain entry so I guess I have that going for me, but my deductible on this type of thing is $250 so that sucks. The most shocking thing is that both my car and the student's car had this happen to them in the middle of the afternoon. And this is a very busy parking lot. Lots of students and staff are constantly walking through it to go from one end of campus to the other.

I have to say I kept a surprisingly level head about the whole thing. Maybe it's because I was just thankful to not be the girl with the shattered window. Maybe it's because I hadn't started drinking yet that day. Still, I have to say things like this make you wish for justice. Luckily I came home to find my son ready to spring in to action. After he learned what happened to my vehicle he and the family dog were ready to help. God love 'em.

365 days and counting...

It was one year ago today that I started my new job at the University. It was a happy time because the old job and old boss was something out of your worst nightmare. The new job and new boss where really ideal and I was excited to begin a new phase in my career. Unfortunately experience has taught me that all good things usually come to an end and the warts begin to show within the first year. I am ecstatic to report that while the University is not perfect, the luster has not worn off of my work and my chain of command still proves to be as fantastic as ever. Of course this doesn't preclude something negative from ever happening... I'm just thrilled it hasn't happened already!

Happy 365 days to me!

New Quarterback - New Life

So I guess it's no secret that The Q and I have been struggling with the whole fantasy football thing this year. In fact, it's been a real bitch. Our first round pick started off a bust and then suffered a multi-week injury. Our second round pick also started off a bust and only now has begun to show signs of life. Our third round pick started off okay but then suffered a multi-week injury. Our fourth round pick started off decently but has just now suffered a multi-week injury. Add onto that four players on our team suffering SEASON ENDING injuries and you can imagine we've been working the waiver wire pretty hard. I'll also throw in the fact that I failed to draft Randy Moss before Q punches me in the nuts by mentioning it for a twenty-fifth F-ing time!

BUT... last week we won and this week we won. In fact this week we won handsomely. Our new QB, replacing one of our QBs with one of those season ending injuries I mentioned, three for three touchdown passes and for more than 200 yards. We still haven't even seen our 1st string running back play this week and we've already sealed up the win by 10 points. Things are looking up! And with our brand spankin' new Arizona Defense, we are ready to rock. Go Cards!

Han Jabba

So I mentioned the greatness of Sifl and Olly a few posts back. If you're not already fans of this genius programing than a presentation is long overdue. This little tribute to courting the ladies and to Star Wars is one of the all time classics.

Insecure - He Is Not

We're potty training Lil' Magnum right now. He just turned three last month and he's doing a really great job. Actually, I'm pleasantly surprised by how well it's going. The first week was a real struggle because we basically went from diapers to underwear overnight so he had to adjust quickly. But now he's "going potty" on a regular basis and we haven't had an accident in the last ten days.

Of course being in school has helped as well. His teachers are great about helping the kids who are in the middle of potty training. Additionally, the children that are further along in the process are a great influence on those that lag behind. However, I must admit that there is one unexpected side-effect to his being in school with a bunch of other kids who are all in the throws of their own individual potty training.

A few days ago my wife and I took my son to the bathroom because he needed to go "pee-pee". We did the regular routine of lifting the seat and taking off his shorts and underwear. But then the strangest thing happened. He grabbed himself with both hands, aimed for the toilet, let fly, and yelled at the top of his lungs:

"KA-BOOM!"

This completely unnerved my wife but made me laugh out load. His entire future flashed before my eyes and I saw my son standing on a keg in the middle of a college party with a bra on his head yelling those same words before unleashing upon a throng of other students.

I was yanked back to reality by Mrs. Cyber asking me if I had taught him that word. My response was, "No, but I wish I had."

Happy Fun Review Time

I tell you what, I sure do love me some blockbuster online. I got a free movie coupon this week and I skipped on over to the local store to check out what was available. I figured, what better time to rent a crappy B-movie than with a free coupon.

As I am a big fan of My Name is Earl, I happened to notice Jamie Pressly on the cover of DOA: Dead or Alive. Being marginally familiar with the video game I assumed there would be some delicious kung-fu action. Then I noticed it was directed by Corey Yuen who did The Transporter. And while The Transporter was a terrible film it had some of the best martial arts I had seen in a long time.

I snatched DOA off the shelf and didn't look back. Perhaps my expectations were very low but I actually really enjoyed it. The movie wasn't half bad, the acting was tolerable, and the fight scenes were REALLY kick-ass. In fact there was so much juicy, hot, kick-boxing, filled goodness, I went ahead and re-watched some of the highlights. My favorite bit being the knock-down drag-out battle between Cristie and Helena in the rain on the beach.

Bottom Line: I give this movie two thumbs, a middle and an index finger way up!

Here's a little taste of what I'm talking about...