Panic

I woke up this morning with the realization that I am about to board a five hour flight tomorrow from Cybertown, U.S.A. to Los Angeles with my wife, two sons who both have head colds, and my parents.

I myself have recently strained my left wrist for some unknown reason, although my doctor tells me it was from over-use... whatever that means. I'm checking two car seats, a double stroller, and enough bags of clothes, toys, and various miscellaneous items to stock a large department store!

I am insane.

Diagnosis: Dumb Ass

I'm sure you're like me. Worried about the magical, mystical, Q. His site has been down for weeks and I fear it may never return. But it has been a busy November and I haven't had a chance to call the man until just the other day. The following conversation occurred...

(Phone ringing)

Q: Hello (in weak voice)

Me: Hey, Q! How you doing?

Q: Not to well, Cyber D.

Me: Really? What's wrong?

Q: Well, I'm bad sick.

Me: That's terrible, did you catch the flu bug that's been going around?

Q: No, I think I caught the AIDS.

(Long pause)

Me: What??? You're kidding.

Q: No, man. I feel terrible. Like I'm about to die.

Me: So how did this happen?

Q: I don't know, you know how easy it is to spread germs.

Me: Well, not really. You have to have had unprotected sex or shared a dirty drug needle to get AIDS. Have you done that?

Q: Hell no!

Me: Well then I don't think you have AIDS.

Q: Did you go to medical school, Cyber D?

Me: No.

Q: I suppose I should start calling you Doctor Cyber D now, eh?

Me: Don't be foolish, Q. You don't have the AIDS.

Q: I told you I feel like I'm about to die.

Me: What are your symptoms?

Q: The usual. Runny nose, sore throat, fever, aches and pains. But I've taken a Tylenol and I'm feeling a little better. Still, there's no stopping the AIDS. I suppose it's only a matter of time.

Me: So I suppose Q's Corner isn't coming back.

Q: Not unless I can blog from the grave.

Me: You're not dying, Q.

Q: I'm making out my will now.

Me: Really? What am I getting?

Q: A deer carcass.

(Long Pause)

Me: I love venison!

Q: I know!

Me: Especially with A-1 steak sauce.

Q: Who doesn't?

Me: You know me so well...

Q: And you - me, Cyber D.

Me: So you'll have your mom call me for the funeral right? I've got to run to the grocery store.

Q: No problem.

Look Out! It's an Origin Story!!

I know Blog Country has wondered for years now how my off-spring came by their inter-web monikers of Lil' Magnum and Lil' Higgins. Some may believe it was random choice. Others might assume some secret code for a specific personality trait. I stand before you today to reveal the awful truth. Like the name of CyberD, their web-names were born out of a Quad moment.

It was the spring of 2004 when Dagromm, the illustrious Q, and I gathered for lunch at our favorite little whole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. As usual I ordered enchiladas and a glass of ice (as I always bring my own soda to the table). Q and Dagromm rolled their eyes at my B.Y.O.B policy before ordering fajitas for two and a single milk shake and one curly straw.

As I finished my tasty plate of spicy enchiladas and the Q and Dags teased each other over the last strip of Mexican beef, the conversation turned to the upcoming birth of my fist son. At the time Mrs. Cyber and I hadn't decided on his name so Q and Dags pushed hard for something suitably manly for a Quad off-spring. Dags warned me about naming my son something like Ashley or Leonard, lest he be the object of bully-hatred his entire life. I then jokingly said that not all children can grow up to be bad ass like Tom Sellek. Q than asked if I was referring to Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck or Quigley Down Under Tom Selleck because the Quigley Sellek was a little gay.

Dags immediately chimed in with the bombastic opinion that I name my son Magnum. Specifically Magnum Philonious Ignatius or Magnum P.I. for short. I reminded them that if I insisted on such a name, my wife would likely shoot me in the face while I slept. But they decided that my decision didn't matter. My first born child would always be Lil' Magnum to them. As you can see in the photo, Dags was never more serious. He gave Lil' Mag this shirt the day he was born. My son has now fully embraced the persona and occasionally tests the quality and thickness of his ongoing mustache like in this picture.

The Quad tips our hat to you, Lil' Magnum!

Happy and Healthy... It's So EASY!!!

My wife and I are like many other couples in their mid thirties with multiple children. We're strapped for time, money, energy, and sleep. It shouldn't be a surprise that the stresses of life, work, and parenting can take it's toll on the body. We see the aging process occurring live and in living color and nobody likes that. The glorification of youth has never been more present in our culture and I'm not immune to the desire to lose weight, look younger, and remain relevant in a constantly changing society.

So like many others, we occasionally try to turn over a new leaf, be it diet, exercise, or any other multitude of things. But what really sets me off are these articles on the news and talk shows that try to tell you how easy it is to add years to your life, lose fifty pounds, and have limitless energy. It's always just three simple steps isn't it? That's because they teach you in presentations 101 that an audience can't follow anything longer than three steps. The fact of the matter is, it's never that easy!

Let's take last night for example. Mrs. Cyber and I had finally got the kids down for the night around 9pm. We look around at the house and it is a complete wreck. Dishes piling up, toys strewn about everywhere, laundry needing to be done, etc. etc. You get the idea. As we are cleaning we have a popular talk show running on the television in the background. Once again, the host and her guest is tells us about three simple steps that will give us a happy and healthier life. This includes avoiding high fat and high sugar foods. It also includes just thirty minutes of exercise every day. Finally the most important thing is to get more sleep.

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

So you mean to tell me that between the sleepless nights we suffer with our infant, we have to find away to make all our meals at home (to avoid fast food) that then requires us to keep back the avalanche of dirty dishes that comes with eating at home every meal. If that isn't enough we also are expected to fit in thirty minutes of exercise. That requires getting up earlier than usual in order to exercise before the kids awake (or I leave for work) because once the kids are up and at it, it's all about their busy schedule. Finally, and MOST importantly, go to bed early to get more sleep. Screw me sideways! How is all of this possible? You either have to have super-speed or an army of servants to do all the dirty work in your home.

I give up! I'm going to McDonald's!

Sweet-Clean Programming

With stinkers like Bionic Woman and Chuck laying big fat turds all over your TV set this fall, I thought it high time a few underrated shows get some positive pub. In no particular order I recommend all these beauties and they get my CyberD official stamp of approval.


My first recommendation on this list is Pushing Daisies. This smart and quirky program initially caught my eye with its bold visuals and bizarre premise. The main character, Ned is a Pie Maker. Ever since he was young Ned has had the creepy ability to make the dead live again. Unfortunately if he touches them again they die permanently. If this power wasn't twisted enough, if a person is revived for more than 60 seconds, someone else nearby dies. After a series of circuitous events in the first episode, Ned becomes partnered with a private investigator named Emerson Cod, and his childhood crush, the previously-dead Charlotte Charles. This crime fighting trio now goes about reviving the dead in order to solve their murders and collect outstanding cash rewards as a result. This funny yet twisted tale is a combination of a murder mystery, drama, and comedy all rolled into one. It's really a mys-dram-edy! And it's damn good. Check it out on Wednesday nights on ABC at 8/7c.


My second recommendation is a show called Hotel Babylon. This brash and sexy British drama is a gateway into the world of 5-star hotels. The stories center around Charlie, the new manager, and other dedicated staff as they attempt to cater to the outrageous demands of the guests of Hotel Babylon. Charlie also serves as the narrator, providing general themes for each episode such as the eccentricities of the rich and famous, the debauchery that hotel patrons partake in, or the ability for hotel staff to save or destroy the lives of their guests. Be careful, you may just find that Hotel Babylon becomes your guilty pleasure of this fall season. Check it out on Wednesday nights on BBC America at 9/8c.


Finally, my last recommendation is a show regularly mentioned on my blog and that's Dancing with the Stars. This celebrity-based-reality-tv-contest-show never ceases to amaze me. There have been five seasons of this series and I still get a kick out of watching every week. The current season is about half-way through its run, which means all the really poor celebrities have been kicked off, leaving nothing but the best of the best. Never fear, this is an equal opportunity skin fest with ample flesh on both sides of the isle. That means there is plenty to see for the whole family. The really good news is that almost every season includes a wardrobe malfunction and this hasn't happened yet so you haven't missed anything. Tune in on Monday nights on ABC at 8/7c.

News Report: One Happy Wizard

You can imagine my surprise when I turned on the news this morning to find that JKR has officially announced that the character of Albus Dumbledore was gay. My first thought was wow! My next thought was, wondering if Dumbledore's music collection included the great works of Abba and George Micheal.

I'd make an argument about how the character didn't need that clarification by the author but it is her character... so more power to you, JK.

I need a hero!

Okay, so you'll never guess what happened on Tuesday. I walk out of my office on the one year anniversary of my first day at this job and I notice a campus police officer taking a statement from a student who had her car window shattered. Apparently there were some break-ins in the parking lot that my office shares with student parking. Then I notice a strip of metal on the outside of my driver's side door had been pulled out. It was bent and sticking out at an odd angle. It looked as if the hoodlums attempted to break into my car as well.

Luckily they didn't gain entry so I guess I have that going for me, but my deductible on this type of thing is $250 so that sucks. The most shocking thing is that both my car and the student's car had this happen to them in the middle of the afternoon. And this is a very busy parking lot. Lots of students and staff are constantly walking through it to go from one end of campus to the other.

I have to say I kept a surprisingly level head about the whole thing. Maybe it's because I was just thankful to not be the girl with the shattered window. Maybe it's because I hadn't started drinking yet that day. Still, I have to say things like this make you wish for justice. Luckily I came home to find my son ready to spring in to action. After he learned what happened to my vehicle he and the family dog were ready to help. God love 'em.

365 days and counting...

It was one year ago today that I started my new job at the University. It was a happy time because the old job and old boss was something out of your worst nightmare. The new job and new boss where really ideal and I was excited to begin a new phase in my career. Unfortunately experience has taught me that all good things usually come to an end and the warts begin to show within the first year. I am ecstatic to report that while the University is not perfect, the luster has not worn off of my work and my chain of command still proves to be as fantastic as ever. Of course this doesn't preclude something negative from ever happening... I'm just thrilled it hasn't happened already!

Happy 365 days to me!

New Quarterback - New Life

So I guess it's no secret that The Q and I have been struggling with the whole fantasy football thing this year. In fact, it's been a real bitch. Our first round pick started off a bust and then suffered a multi-week injury. Our second round pick also started off a bust and only now has begun to show signs of life. Our third round pick started off okay but then suffered a multi-week injury. Our fourth round pick started off decently but has just now suffered a multi-week injury. Add onto that four players on our team suffering SEASON ENDING injuries and you can imagine we've been working the waiver wire pretty hard. I'll also throw in the fact that I failed to draft Randy Moss before Q punches me in the nuts by mentioning it for a twenty-fifth F-ing time!

BUT... last week we won and this week we won. In fact this week we won handsomely. Our new QB, replacing one of our QBs with one of those season ending injuries I mentioned, three for three touchdown passes and for more than 200 yards. We still haven't even seen our 1st string running back play this week and we've already sealed up the win by 10 points. Things are looking up! And with our brand spankin' new Arizona Defense, we are ready to rock. Go Cards!

Han Jabba

So I mentioned the greatness of Sifl and Olly a few posts back. If you're not already fans of this genius programing than a presentation is long overdue. This little tribute to courting the ladies and to Star Wars is one of the all time classics.

Insecure - He Is Not

We're potty training Lil' Magnum right now. He just turned three last month and he's doing a really great job. Actually, I'm pleasantly surprised by how well it's going. The first week was a real struggle because we basically went from diapers to underwear overnight so he had to adjust quickly. But now he's "going potty" on a regular basis and we haven't had an accident in the last ten days.

Of course being in school has helped as well. His teachers are great about helping the kids who are in the middle of potty training. Additionally, the children that are further along in the process are a great influence on those that lag behind. However, I must admit that there is one unexpected side-effect to his being in school with a bunch of other kids who are all in the throws of their own individual potty training.

A few days ago my wife and I took my son to the bathroom because he needed to go "pee-pee". We did the regular routine of lifting the seat and taking off his shorts and underwear. But then the strangest thing happened. He grabbed himself with both hands, aimed for the toilet, let fly, and yelled at the top of his lungs:

"KA-BOOM!"

This completely unnerved my wife but made me laugh out load. His entire future flashed before my eyes and I saw my son standing on a keg in the middle of a college party with a bra on his head yelling those same words before unleashing upon a throng of other students.

I was yanked back to reality by Mrs. Cyber asking me if I had taught him that word. My response was, "No, but I wish I had."

Happy Fun Review Time

I tell you what, I sure do love me some blockbuster online. I got a free movie coupon this week and I skipped on over to the local store to check out what was available. I figured, what better time to rent a crappy B-movie than with a free coupon.

As I am a big fan of My Name is Earl, I happened to notice Jamie Pressly on the cover of DOA: Dead or Alive. Being marginally familiar with the video game I assumed there would be some delicious kung-fu action. Then I noticed it was directed by Corey Yuen who did The Transporter. And while The Transporter was a terrible film it had some of the best martial arts I had seen in a long time.

I snatched DOA off the shelf and didn't look back. Perhaps my expectations were very low but I actually really enjoyed it. The movie wasn't half bad, the acting was tolerable, and the fight scenes were REALLY kick-ass. In fact there was so much juicy, hot, kick-boxing, filled goodness, I went ahead and re-watched some of the highlights. My favorite bit being the knock-down drag-out battle between Cristie and Helena in the rain on the beach.

Bottom Line: I give this movie two thumbs, a middle and an index finger way up!

Here's a little taste of what I'm talking about...

Taking Care of Business - Part 5

Do you remember listening to your grandfather tell you the stories about his work? Maybe he had just come home from the war and he was looking for a job, hoping someone would take a chance on an uneducated farm boy. Perhaps the local factory was hiring that summer and he was lucky enough to get a job and he only hoped he wouldn't let them down. Your grandpa may have given his blood, sweat, and tears for the "company," and ever since his retirement he has been living well off their pension plan and stock options. Perhaps your grandfather's story is a little different. Perhaps everything was "wine and roses" until one year before retirement. Maybe his golden parachute wasn't quite as gilded as the company told him it would be. I guarantee that our parent's story of company loyalty is even worse than our grandparents. I'm sure you can see where this is going? If you can't than you need to keep reading.


Today's installment on working for The Man is about the illusion of company loyalty and how at the end of the day the only person that is going to watch out for you...

...is you.

That's why I like to call this one:

- Looking Out For #1 -



I work in a business where I meet people from a wide array of different industries and business acumen. I can't tell you how many stories I've heard about their company forcing them to retire early, causing them to miss out on thousands of dollars in benefits. I can't even remember the number of times I've heard about people being laid off because they have outgrown their usefulness. My own uncle was the victim of a layoff, in no small part due to the deadly combination of a bloated pay-check and obsolete knowledge in a technical industry.

There was a time in my life that I thought I might give more than a decade to one employer. I no longer believe that will happen. Thankfully I've never been fired, or laid off, or let go, but I can tell you that I've come damn close. Luckily that new offer came at just the right time and I made the switch on my own terms. And even if you are prepared for the worst, sometimes the market just doesn't give you the chance to leave before the boom falls. I consider myself lucky. But I also consider myself a realist.

Ultimately you have to watch out for your own skin. Everybody is replaceable and none of us are an exception to that rule. So here are a few tips to keep in mind as you navigate the shark infested waters of your career path.

1. Play hard ball when you negotiate salary in a job offer. You'll never get another chance to be better positioned to get what you want. That's money in your bank today and that's better than money in your bank tomorrow. Don't make me explain the time value of money to you.

2. When your old boss leaves, take the opportunity to influence the filling of her position. Nothing can turn a great job into a shitty job more completely than a tyrant supervisor.

3. Somebody in your organization is getting tired of you so attempt to reinvent yourself every few years. That could be taking a promotion, making a lateral move into a new area, identifying a company problem that you have a solution for, or even leaving the company for a new position someplace else.

4. Watch out for crazy people, especially if they are in charge. Nothing can wreck a career more than really fucked up managers - even if they are not in your department.

5. Always keep your resume up to date and never turn down an opportunity to interview somewhere even if you aren't looking for a new job. You never know what surprise might be in store for you.

6. If you are tired of working for The Man... become The Man. But be warned, everyone eventually rises to the highest level of their own incompetence.

Behind the Scenes

In keeping with a format that good ol' Dagromm started a few months back, I thought I would share a little behind the scenes action between me and The Q.

-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Date: Thursday September 20, 2007 11:35 AM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Why the fuck will my comments not post on your blog? I've tried to comment like four times and none of them have registered!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Date: Thursday September 20, 2007 11:38 AM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Fixed it

You were marked as spam. I blame Gus Bladder again for that


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 12:03 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

I blame gus bladder for the price per barrel of gasoline being what it is today. Bastard!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:11 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Dude, just a heads up. Our Fantasy Football Team SUCKS!


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:13 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

What are you talking about? We've got it made... just a little tweak here and there and we've made it... by the way... your blog is blocking my comments still!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:14 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

No, I just hate you


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:15 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

You better fix that shit or there's going to be hell to pay!


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:16 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Smoke


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:17 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Don't even think about it.


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:18 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

My


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:19 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Don't you dare.


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:20 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Pole

-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:21 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Damn it! Reeeeeeally subtle, Q-dog.


-----Original Message-----
From: Q
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 4:12 PM
To: CyberD
Subject: RE: comments

Dude that is what I am known for. Well that and the stalking. Well those two and that indecent exposure thing. Whatever


-----Original Message-----
From: CyberD
Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2004 4:59 PM
To: Q
Subject: RE: comments

Good times, good times...

The First One Always Feels Good

The Sports Donkey Lollipop Buffet got its first win of the season. The Q and I made an important change at quarterback and started Jake Delhomme over the hapless Drew Brees. What a douche! Now we just have to decide if we are going to cut the bastard. With a 1-2 record it's just a matter of clawing our way to the top!

Where in the World is Dagromm?

Many of you have expressed genuine concern for the where abouts of one Dagromm Q. Flailbreath, otherwise known as Dags. There is much speculation going on over at The House of Dagromm as his usual string of postings has now completely ceased all together. As many of you know, The Crotch Wizards are a very tight group and we keep each other on speed-dial at all times. With Q in the hospital and Gyuss trapped inside the Big Monkey Comics back-room (doing God knows what), it was up to me to get down to the bottom of this.

With his busy new job, my first thought was that he had barricaded himself at his office so that's where I headed first. Much to my surprise I ran into Big Dirty pacing back and forth in the lobby. Apparently Big Dirty hadn't seen Dags in two weeks and Dirty had finally snapped. He did not greet me with his usual, "Hell yeah!" In fact he didn't greet me at all. He only continued his pacing back and forth, while ringing his hands together. After checking with reception I learned that he hadn't shown up to work in several days so I headed to his house.

When I got there the front door was ajar and his entire yard had been toilet papered. For a minute I thought perhaps his soccer team had played a practical joke on the old man but this theory quickly evaporated when I stepped inside to see none other than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. He was in the middle of the living room emptying an entire box of laundry detergent onto the carpet while muttering the phrase, "Payback is a bitch!"

The Rock noticed me when I walked in and he tossed the box of detergent over the back of his head and into the dinning room. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Hey The Rock. I haven't seen you in months.

The Rock: Oh yeah... I've been busy making money and sleeping with hot women.

Me: Yeah, I know what you mean.

The Rock: So what are you doing here?

Me: I guess I could ask you that same question.

The Rock: Oh, I just came by to give Dagromm that twenty dollars I owe him, but it doesn't look like he is home.

Me: So what's with the detergent?

The Rock: What detergent?

Me: (Pointing silently at the mound of powder on the floor)

The Rock: That was there when I got here.

Me: Okay, well I guess I better get going, The Rock.

The Rock: By the way, CyberD. How is The Quad?

Me: Huh? Oh you mean The Crotch Wizards.

The Rock: Right, I was just checking to see if there were any openings.

Me: Sorry, not at the moment.

The Rock: Yeah, that's cool. I got a big photo shoot in Cancun tomorrow anyway so it's not like I could join you guys for your next poker night... even if you were needing a fourth person to replace someone who might be missing.

Me: Right... well, good luck with the photo-shoot.

I exited the front door and headed home. I suppose the world may never know what happened to good ol' Dagromm.

What is wrong with me?

I'm often reminded of my child's innocent nature when he invariably throws down a phrase that makes my inner-junior-high-self chuckle. My son got some new toys for his 3rd birthday this weekend.

He has now reached the stage where he is no longer content to just bang a stick against a wall or roll balls across the floor. He is practicing pretend play so horses have to chase each other around the house and super heroes are always in the business of saving other toys from their troubles.

Yesterday his new Superman and Wonder Woman action figures were bravely swooping down onto the breakfast table and lifting a various assortment of wildlife animals onto their backs, saving them from a deadly fire!

In this particular case my son wanted to make it clear to me which animal belonged to each superhero. The following conversation ensued:

Lil' Magnum: We got to save the animals, Daddy!

Me: Okay, son. Which animals should we save first?

Lil' Magnum: This is Superman's Rhino, Daddy!

Me: Wow, Superman saved a rhinoceros. That's great!

Lil' Magnum: This is Wonder Woman's Beaver!

Me: (Very long pause attempting to hold back my hysteria) That's... great... son. I'm glad Wonder Woman saved her beaver.


I'm a terrible father.

A Chance Encounter with The Dick

I was in the campus bookstore with about eight coworkers when I noticed a famous former NFL star browsing the sweatshirts. Now you have to understand, I'm not one of those lucky types that always has a funny story about this famous person I saw at the airport or that famous person I bumped into at the coffee shop. I worked in LA for THREE MONTHS and never even saw a single famous person!

So you can imagine my giddy surprise of seeing another former NFL player after having met Roger Staubach a little over one year ago! This time it was none other than Eric Dickerson. What was so funny was that the four men in my group of coworkers were like moths to a flame. We drifted over in his direction almost immediately while the four ladies in the room were still focusing on the best cut of t-shirt and if the store had it in pink or baby-blue.

Us boys were later chided for paying homage to one of football's greats. I simply replied that my shameless pandering was not for me but for the bragging rights amongst my social circles... of which this blog is one!

So yeah, the encounter itself was awesome. I even managed to make him laugh by suggesting that he needed to put on a uniform and play for his former college team.

Good times... good times.

A Battle Royale with Cheese

And now for the cous de gras. Back in the spring of 2006 I started my blog off with a BANG! A few personal anecdotes here, a Doctor Who review there. Following that I presented the worlds greatest showdown. I geek-love-fest to end all geek-love-fests.

I present to you the Battle Royale!

11 posts, 64 contestants, 63 battles, and thousands of adrenaline pumping moments of juicy combat. I encourage you to start from the bottom and work your way up. So as not to be spoiled! I think quite possibly none more need be said on the subject of how truly geeky I am!

I mean Business Plan!

The year was 2003. The season was Fall. The class was a capstone course for my MBA called Entrepreneurial Strategy. We spent an entire semester creating a full blown business plan. And I don't mean that undergraduate bull-shit that passes for a business plan but is really just a glorified book report. I'm talking about identifying a new business concept, conducting research on the budgetary constraints and market forces surrounding that concept, developing a full blown Cash Flow Statement, Income Statement, and Balance Sheet on a five year projection for the proposed business, creating a marketing plan and sample materials for the business, calculating the potential financial yield for investors and then presenting our plan to a group of our peers and a panel of guest business professors.

This class was the Super Bowl of my MBA experience. It required countless hours of research and preparation, it caused knockd-down arguments between my project partner and me, and it required the courage of Hercules to know that your complete work would be on display to the entire MBA community. But it was by far and away... head and shoulders... unequivocally... the best experience in the program for me. I had the time of my life because we chose to do devise a business around the Collectible Card Game (CCG) industry.

The CCG industry is built on the backs of the millions of rabid sci-fi/fantasy geeks who knock down doors to purchase the latest incarnation of their favorite sci-fi/fantasy genres in game form, so that they can broaden and deepen their personal experience with said franchises. While other MBA hopefuls were presenting business plans about RFID technology, international banking, and venture capital markets, I was talking about a card game. Original content meets personal passion, my friends!

Why Who?

Many of you know that I am a shameful lover of all things Doctor Who. Up until Farscape it was my unequivocal favorite television show of all time, and that's before the new Who series came out. Most in geekdom place the likes of Star Wars, Star Trek, and other American programs in their top favorite shows but so do many "averge joes." However the mainstream viewing audience wouldn't know a sonic screwdriver even if it jumped up and bit them in the ass.

So what is Doctor Who, you ask? And why does CyberD, the bastion of good taste, speak so highly of it? To the uninitiated, Doctor Who is a British sci-fi series, originally produced and screened by the BBC from 1963 to 1989 with a new series launched in early 2005. It is about a wandering traveler of time and space who stumbles across injustice and wrong doing across the universe, and comes to the rescue of those subjugated by evil.

The longevity of this program and the lengths to which passionate fans have successfully returned the series to a modern format is unprecedented. The reason the show is able to reinvent itself so readily is the due to the main characters unique ability to regenerate his body, thereby recasting the lead actor. This bohemian vagabond is a unique intergalactic hero who defeats a vast cornucopia of villainous enemies with a superior intellect rather than a super firearm.

I am proud to say that Doctor Who has been a viewing staple for me since I was just a young cyber-lad. My avatar and blog are a homage to the series. I've burned up miles of VCR tape recording old episodes for my personal library. I even attended a Doctor Who convention when I was in junior high! Wow, I've never admitted that to anyone!

That actually felt kind of good! I feel so... alive! So full of... splendor! I feel like the first ray of sun as it kisses the cool morning dew with its soft warm radiance!

Please excuse me while I strip off all my clothes and run naked through a field of wheat!

It is well and truly ON!

It should be known that nobody questions the geek-cred of CyberD at The Wheel. One can scurry off to a dark stinky cave and pretend to know the difference between a Tavloid and a Tavlek, but here at The Wheel we know the score!

When it comes to debating the merits of Star Wars vs. Star Trek, the plot fallacy of a time paradox, or the life-long acting contribution of Warwick Davis, I am here to say that I can pop, drop, and lock it with the best of them!

If the realm of science fiction and fantasy entertainment was a runway than I am a coked up, anorexic, slightly bi-curious supermodel ready to strut her stuff!

Armor Plated Goodness

It's strange you know? I don't play HALO. Hell, I don't even own the gaming system required to play HALO and yet I feel that I desperately need one of these. If not for Halloween this year, than for playing paintball, and if not for playing paintball, perhaps for the bedroom!



Maybe it is my Y chromosome kicking into overdrive! That or my geek chromosome... or both!

Throw-Back Fun Times!

So I just finished watching Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny. I put it off for several months because Q told me it sucked. I hated to hear that because I introduced the marvelous lyrical musings of JB and KG to The Quad a few years ago. The first album will always rock in infamy for us. It will be forever hard to dethrone that monster record. But I have to say The Pick of Destiny really wasn't terrible. And a couple of the new songs are pretty damn good. But here is a little golden nugget of knowledge for those that are open to enlightenment. The director is a man named Liam Lynch who also happens to be the genius behind the one-off hit: My United States of Whatever as well as a very brief but extremely genius TV show.

Back in the fall of 1998, when Dagromm and I were still living in the same small Texas town, we started getting together for a morning jog. You might call it the slim-down challenge that sparked a national trend. Around that same time we had both begun watching a new late-night comedy called Sifl & Olly. The wacky off-beat humor, performed masterfully by a cornucopia of creative and crazy sock puppet characters had us both laughing our asses off all threw our morning jog the next day. It was good times back then but unfortunately stupid-ass TV executives couldn't see genius even if it jumped up and bit them in the wrinkle stick! The show was canceled. Long live Sifl & Olly!

God bless the U.S.A.

Miss Teen South Carolina proves that beauty pageants are about more than just beauty!

Taking Care of Business - Part 4

I'm here to tell you that there is a super-duper-secret way to making good money and doing absolutely nothing. Actually there are three. So read them all and feel free to pick which one you like best.

1. Be born into old family money. Oh, too late for that?
2. Win the lottery. Oh, not lucky enough for that?
3. Start your own pyramid scheme. Oh, don't want to be vilified by all of humanity?

Then I suppose you'll have to join the rest of us and do a little bit of work. Unfortunately this multi-part series is about maximizing your money and minimizing your work... not eliminating work all together. If that were possible I wouldn't be blogging from my office. I'd be blogging from the Bahamas.

So in the spirit of "nutting up" and accomplishing something Part 4 is called:

- It's not just wallpaper... It's also a meal ticket -



It doesn't really matter what you want to do with your life. I recommend getting a degree, be it high-school, college, or anything in between. Most people don't use their degree but it isn't about how useful American History will be to you when you are driving a cab, or how important College Calculus is when you are the manager of a hotel. It's about maximizing choices. If you want to work less and get paid more you want to be able to have as many choices as possible and for every degree you achieve the more choices (or options) will be at your disposal. The choices could be anything.

Perhaps you want to become a manager. Maybe you want to change careers. Unlike me you may actually want to be something specific when you grow up. A degree is the first step to having these options at your disposal. In this day and age a college degree can feel like a must and in many professional fields it is. Hell, you still don't have to know what you want to do when you grow up. I can't tell you the disparity in college degree disciplines amongst my co-workers and we all do the EXACT same job.

Equally important is the asinine perception that the more degrees you have, the more you are worth... and therefore are compensated accordingly. Of course this is relative to the field in which you work but, by in large, the people with paper on the wall have more paper in their bank account.

Of course it isn't all about money. A degree can give you credibility and some breathing room in your work. Say you slack off a little and only do a half-arsed job on a particular project. Perception is 9/10 of reality and you're going to be given some latitude because the boss is going to assume you know what you are doing. Why? The degree is the preconceived evidence that you know what you're doing.

Finally there is the beauty (or curse) of the EXEMPT job. What am I talking about? I'm talking about being salaried. This little perk doesn't have a clock-in and clock-out time. This is why all the dress-shirt types come in late, take long lunches, and leave early for the golf course? They aren't being paid for the number of hours they put in so why put any more than you have to. Of course the double edge on this sword is that when the job must get done, you have to stay late without compensation. Or you could be like The Q and be a salaried employee with overtime. But that's like the Holy Grail of jobs and those don't come along very often.

So that's it for Part 4. It isn't always fun and games and Lord knows I worked my tail off for my education, but I do feel very strongly that while I don't always USE my education in my work it IS the reason why I am able to do what I am doing today... and some days not doing!

Football time in the city!

Well the 4th annual MOBFL draft is over and I must say that the Sports Donkey Lollipop Buffet has once again crafted a team worthy of pig skin glory! I'm proud to say that the Q and I still reign supreme on draft day. Unfortunately The Tasty Q couldn't make it to the MOBFL draft this year. When I asked him why, he refused to give me a straight answer and only muttered something about an archeologist and a billionaire. Anyway, here is the round by round results of the hard work put forth by our team hence forth referred to as the SDLB.

Round 1 - This was a no brainer. We had the second pick in the draft and while we toyed with the idea of trading up for the number one pick, we decided to not sacrifice anything that wasn't necessary. As part owner and Q's proxy, I drafted Steven Jackson, Running Back extraordinaire. He will put up some monster numbers and with points per reception now being added to the scoring system, we have the secret weapon that others will envy.

Round 2 - Twenty picks had gone by and all of the stud Running Backs were gone. The top flight Quarterback was taken early in Round 1 and the run on QBs had begun. But the choice wasn't easy. After this next pick, a single owner would have the benefit of picking twice before I could pick again in Round 3. Should I draft the next best QB on the board or should I grab the best RB still available? I decided that value at RB was beginning to get murky but there was still a clear choice on the best QB available. I drafted Drew Brees feeling that he was next in line to those that went before him, such as Palmer, Manning, and Brady.

Round 3 - My choice was the correct one as the before mentioned owner drafted the touchdown machine: Marion Barber as well as Donovan McNabb. Barber's a nice pick but others can perform equally. On the other hand, the QB tier drops after Brees and McNabb is no Brees. I feel that had I waited on Brees he would not have been there. Now I look for the best clear RB starter available and it is Brandon Jacobs of the NYG.

Round 4 - Copious amounts of top flight wide outs go in this round and I am not surprised that few are left. There is still one undeniable stud and I take Javon Walker and pray that his QB doesn't meltdown.

Round 5 - Running Backs are looking terrible now so I draft another unequivocal starter and am thankful that what may be left are all teams that run RB's by committee. I take Caddilac and don't look back.

Round 6 - With only one wide out on my team it's clear where I need to go next and due to my dedication in picking quality RBs I'm getting nervous. Time to look for a #1 WR on a winning team. Darrell Jackson was already taken but he's now in San Fran. His Seattle replacement is available and I take Deion Branch.

Round 7 - We had some piss poor running last year and I'm determined to pull out all the stops. With some really great RB's secured I feel it is still not enough. I see one unequivocal starter still available and while he plays for the crappy Oakland Raiders, he's showed brilliance in the past. I draft LaMont Jordan and hope for a little "return to glory" action.

Round 8 - I can't believe a kicker hasn't been drafted yet. Most people discount their value but someone always beats me to the best one. Not this year. I break the kicker seal and draft Adam Vinatieri.

Round 9 - With my RB core filled out and a good stable of WR locked up I return my attention to QB. Brees is a young stud who should play well but a sold back-up is always good. Better yet, how about another super-power young QB. I draft Jake Delhomme and am surprised he is still available.

Round 10 - I'm making a run on WR's now and I see another go-to guy in Jacksonville. I draft Matt Jones

Round 11 - Things are still looking bleak in Wide Receiver territory and the RB situation is even worse. So I snag a possible emerging star and tandem wide out to my Drew Brees in Devery Henderson, the #2 WR in New Orleans.

Round 12 - I look back and I am pleased with my work. The last time I felt such calm and lack of hurriedness was when I took my team to the fantasy Superbowl. Could this year see more of the same? With a back-up kicker like Olindo Mare, I can't imagine any other outcome.

Round 13 - I never draft a defense this early but things feel pretty good amongst my other positions and a solid Defense is still available. I draft the Jags.

Round 14 - With arguably one of the best RB cores in this draft, I have flexibility to take a risk. I draft A. Peterson from Chicago as a back-up RB with a chance at greatness.

Round 15 - Is usually garbage time. But there is actually still a go-to WR for his team available. Granted, it's the Raiders (and I never thought I would draft two Raiders) but he's a number one and I'm not sacrificing much value taking him as my last pick. Welcome to the SDLB, Jerry Porter.

That's it. You read it here first. Now only fortune and glory remain to be achieved!

P.S. I don't want to hear shit about the spelling of names. I don't give a hairy rats ass.

Stepping up to the plate

I took my eldest to the water park this weekend. He still hasn't learned to swim yet but we are working on it. He loves the water, so after getting tired of the kiddie pool I (like the great dad that I am) carry my son on my hip through the deep water, down the "lazy river", over to the giant floating buoy, and generally all over the damn place. There are countless kids at a similar skill level being carted around by a parent. Occasionally you see a child with a parent that decided a life-jacket is a sufficient parenting tool, allowing them to sit in the shade near the cabana.

I used to be a lifeguard in high school so I can speak from experience when I say that it is shocking how little care some parents show for their children when they know the child is unable to swim. I also know how hard it is to keep a vigilant eye on all the craziness that goes on in the water when you are one of only a handful of guards on duty.

It was a blistering hot Sunday afternoon, which means you find many more parents keeping to the shade and trusting their children with more responsibility then they can usually handle. I had just exited the "lazy river" with my son in tow. I noticed that there was a verbal altercation between some young boys in the deep water. The lifeguard was distracted by this scene and that's when you can get yourself into trouble. Just as I was being reminded of the good old days at the city pool I notice a small boy (no older than my own son) drift between two crowds of kids. He had a life-jacket on but it was too loose and his head was bobbing in and out of the water. He was screaming but he couldn't make any sound because of all the water he was swallowing.

I was a few feet away and it was clear that nobody noticed what was going on. In retrospect, I probably should have called the attention of the guard on duty but instincts kicked in the likes of which I hadn't felt in years. I took two large strides and reached out, snatching the boy up in my arms, and pulling his body out of the water. Luckily he was still very lucid and he was more thankful for the rescue than afraid of being grabbed by a stranger. With my son in one arm and the young boy in the other, I asked him where his parents were and he pointed in the direction of the kiddie pool area. A few seconds later we found his grandmother. I doubt she even realized how much danger her child was in. The boy was surprisingly grateful for his age... probably a testament to how terrified he was at the time.

I'm very proud of my son too, because he took it all in stride and actually said "Yeah, Daddy!" when it was all over.

I must admit though, that above all other things I did manage to get one mystery answered. You see, I quit life guarding before Baywatch hit cable. I always wondered if (following that show) lifeguards would hear that theme song playing in their heads as they save lives. You know what? We do!

I think I'm in love!

We met on my last trip to SoTex. The first thing I noticed was her soft and sexy voice, but that is just the beginning. She's really great. She expresses genuine concern for my well-being and always encourages me to buckle-up when I'm behind the wheel. She's great with directions and when we go out I can always count on her picking a really good restaurant! What's really nice is she doesn't ask me tedious questions about how my work day went or anything like that. Okay, she can be a little cold at times and she doesn't like to talk about anything other than food, hotels, and shopping centers so it looks like she may be a little materialistic, but I think it's a small price to pay for the perfect partner!

The thing is, I don't think I can keep this relationship from my family. In fact I'm so enthralled I think I'm going to introduce her to the wife and kids when we go to California for the Thanksgiving holiday. Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself but I'll let you be the judge. Here is a picture. What do you think?


Global Positioning System

Dream a Little Dream

I awoke this morning foggy headed and disoriented, not because of the fifth of Jack I drank last night while watching re-runs of Hawaii Five-O, but of the bizarre dream I had after falling asleep.

The dream started with an all too familiar opening sequence: Two members of The Crotch Wizards fighting over who gets shot-gun. In this case Dagromm was driving and The Q and I were arguing over who called it first. Gyuss was content with chuckling over the argument and chiming in a few inflammatory remarks here and there. The first thing that tipped me off that I was dreaming was that Dags wasn't driving his 1986 Ford Escort but a tricked out Cadillac Escalade.


We eventually headed for a black-tie dinner celebrating excellence in video game play. Apparently Q was being recognized for a lifetime achievement award. The funny thing was that none of us were wearing tuxedos. As might be expected, I was the best dressed in a burgundy coat with brown corduroy pants and paisley tie. Dags was wearing a Fila jersey, Gyuss was wearing a pair of mechanic's overalls, and the man of the hour was dressed like Thelma from Scooby Do.

Shortly after entering the main dinning hall for dinner, I found myself being "chatted up" by none other than Maureen McCormick, formerly Marsha from the Brady Bunch. It was obvious that she was diggin' what I was bringgin' so I played along for a little while. Eventually I had to cast her aside because nature called.

After draining the lizard I returned to the dinning room to find that two of my closest high school friends had purchased a table at the event. We visited for some time and I planned to ditch the rest of The Quad but my two old friends were about to leave the party and go to the gym. They told me they had a pretty serious work-out regime and today was the day they were to exercise their glutes.

Feeling a little uncomfortable, I ditched them and looked around to see if Q had received his award yet. Much to my surprise the night had wained and the event was already over. I began to worry that The Crotch Team left without me. They can be a jealous lot and I was afraid they may of spotted me with either Maureen or my old high school friends. I exited the dinning hall and found myself in Time Square. There was some news coverage that Dags, G, and Q had finally been arrested for crimes against humanity and I was watching it all unfold on screen. The funny thing is I worried more about finding a way home than what was to happen to my dear friends behind bars when they met their bunk mates.

Luckily my father showed up and offered me a ride home. He said that my mother had been worried sick about me because it was getting late I hadn't called home. We then decided to stop by the old creek, near my childhood home, to catch a few rainbow trout before heading back for ice cream.

Weird huh?

George Lucas, eat your heart out!

When Mrs. Cyber and I had our second child I was commenting to a friend at how similar Lil' Higgins looked as a newborn to Lil' Magnum as a newborn. My friend said that they had a like experience with their two boys but that their second son started to have his own distinct look at about three months old.

Lil Higgins turned five months yesterday and I happened to notice that he still looks shockingly similar to Lil' Magnum's five month old pictures. See attached evidence. I'm beginning to think that my wife and I have the unique ability to simply make clone babies!

Lil' Magnum


Lil' Higgins

Talent or Doo-Doo Pants?

I was talking to Gyuss on the phone the other day and we were commenting on the greatness of the movie Fandango. You can go to The Cave of Gyuss to see a few clips from this masterpiece. On a related note we were speculating if Kevin Costner had even five movies to his credit that would fall into the category of greatness. Even more specifically does he have even one good movie to his credit where he is the singular hero (and not simply a single piece of a larger ensemble cast).


So I now submit to you facts:


The top 5 Costner movies that are considered good but Costner's still crap

5. Tin Cup - There are a few guys that like this movie because they think it's about golf. They could not be more wrong. What it's really about is Kevin's terrible hair-piece and how many times he can say "golly-shucks" with his eyes to Rene Russo.

4. Waterworld - Arguably the only sci-fi credit to his name. This had lots of action, explosions, and Denis Hopper. Well... two out of three ain't bad I suppose, but this dud's worldwide gross barely covered production costs.

3. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves - Two words: Accent Coach! Could the man not even try to have an English accent? By this time Costner was in his prime and really mailing it in. What a douche! The only reason this movie has any legs at all is because of the greatness of Alan Rickman.

2. The Bodyguard - Talk about a meteoric rise of one of the greatest singers in pop-music history. At the height of Whitney's popularity this movie burst onto the scene grossing more than $400 million world wide. I think we can all agree that Witney is the first, last, and only reason this movie is half-way good.

1. Dances with Wolves - Winner of 7 Oscars, one being best picture. Costner plays the single solitary lead about an epic tale of write and wrong in the American west. What is there not to love? How about that glaring error in the film when three birds flying over head are identified as geese when in reality there were cranes? What a continuity disaster!


The REAL top 5 Costner movies


5. Bull Durham - Perhaps one of the best baseball movies ever made. While Coster's role is arguably the lead, he still plays more of an ensemble character to the larger story. Great film but not just because of him.

4. The Untouchables - Perhaps one of the best mafia/cop movies ever made. Coster's role is sound but again, he's just one piece of an ensemble cast that includes Sean freakin' Connery.

3. Silverado - Perhaps one of the best cowboy movies ever made. Coster's role is great but he plays the smallest part of a very formidable ensemble cast.

2. Fandango - Perhaps one of the best college buddy movies ever made. Coster's role is one of the best in his career but still only an ensemble role.

1. Field of Dreams - Perhaps THE best baseball movie ever made. And Coster stands alone as the show's focal point and hero. Way to go, Kev!


There you have it, folks. If the measure of greatness is a single piece of work than Coster is up there with the greats, plus he has a few decent films where he plays a critical ensemble role. But time would indicate that this actor does not get better with age... in fact he may be spoiling over time.

Cyber D's Bottom Line: Costner is a Doo-Doo Pants actor.

Motivation... or lack there of.

I've got plenty to do but I don't want to do any of it. Nothing is urgent so I'm not hard pressed to put my "nose to the grindstone," as it where...

Damn, I've got to shake the funk and get busy!

The Mind of Man - Part 2

This is an excerpt of an email my old college friend, Braveheart sent to me yesterday. Braveheart and I have known each other for more than a decade and while we only talk three or four times a year it is amazing that we have almost identical taste in television and perhaps viewpoints on the meaning of life.



"...A few years ago I'd been on call for 3 or 4 days. I ended up working like 100 hours that 7 days prior or something crazy. Hadn't been home in 3 days. I finally came home, nothing to do for the next 2 days straight, and my wife was out of town for the weekend. So I sit down on my couch, wiped out, I turn on the TiVo, and there before me (because I hadn't watched TV in 10 days or so) sat recorded new episodes that I hadn't seen of the Sopranos, Carnivale, Deadwood, South Park, maybe a Venture Brothers, the Simpsons, a BSG, a Firefly that I missed the first time around, and the Family Guy. Plus there was even a second tier of stuff, like some History Channel's greatest disasters, Mythbusters maybe, or some other stuff.

I turn off the TV without starting any of them, go upstairs and sleep for 12 or so hours straight. Wake up around 3PM. Go out and buy a 6 pack of Guinness, a big ass bucket of KFC, and Ben+Jerry's. Came home, sat on the couch, with the above mentioned items, a trash can, and a roll of paper towels. Turned on the TV and . . . . People always say that your wedding is the best day of your life until your kids are born, and then that day is the best day of your life. I love my wife, and I'm sure I'll love any kids I have, but honestly? When I lay alone at night, between me and my maker, those next hours were . . . Yeah."


The best day of a man's life... Indeed.

My cyber-thoughts go out to the Japanese.

You can imagene these turn of events come as particularly devesating news to all Cybermen everywhere.

Earthquake Article

Harry Potter Secrets Revealed!

I'm no Dagromm, but I am a Potter fan. I started late and read the books fairly quickly to play catch up because Dags was gracious enough to let me borrow his copies. Since I've caught up I haven't had the luxury or reading them ASAP.

When the Order of the Phoenix was coming out my mother (also a Potter fan) asked me if I was excited about the next release. I told her yes, but that I probably wouldn't read it for a couple of months. Shocked she asked why. Because my friend can't let me borrow it right away. He must read it and then his son wants to read it. As a surprise my mother purchased me a copy from Amazon and has continued to do so with every subsequent purchase, although since she and I haven't discussed the Deathly Hallows in any way shape or form I just assumed that the gesture would not be repeated by simple virtue of the fact that it wouldn't occur to her.

In typical mom fashion, she doesn't forget her past generosity and I find a copy of the latest release in my mailbox on Saturday. I have only had time to read the first few pages but I'm here to tell you that I had no idea that the Death Eaters would meet at the Malfoy estate. I can't wait to see what other surprises await!

Gone and done it again

I have had a nasty habit of following TV shows that are really damn good only to result in their cancellation like Farscape, Angel, and Arrested Development just to name a few. Since I've joined Blockbuster Online, my latest trend is to pick up a show that has been out for some time, only to discover that they have ALREADY been canceled, or are in the final death throws of a cancellation. The two most recent being Firefly and Rome.

Well I've gone and done it again! For reasons to complicated to name here, I decided to try out this critically acclaimed series on HBO called Deadwood. The only thing I had heard about it was that it had a great deal of cursing. But I also heard it was pretty damn good. Both turned out to be true... in spades!

What a great show. I've only seen the first four episodes but I am hooked like a heroine junky with a trust fund! I love it so much that I went online today to see when Season 4 might be released on DVD, as I had already noticed the first three seasons were available. Of course the untimely cancellation of Rome should have been my first hint that I shouldn't take such things for granted. It is just now that I learned the show was canceled approximately one year ago.

In the immortal words of Al Swearengen.... "Fucking cocksuckers!" Once again, television executives disappoint me.

Cybermen Rock

Need I say more?



Your welcome.

Weekend Jams

I have to say that a day at home with the boys is getting more and more fun all the time. Mrs. Cyber had to make some deliveries so it was just me and the cast of Magnum P.I. for the first half of our weekend. While mommy is full of educational learning and organized play, I'm all about random chaos! Consequently the house was a complete wreck but you can better believe that you never saw a more fun filled journey that included dinosaurs, Hot Wheels, water guns, and tonka trucks in your entire life!



Later on the family went to our local water park. This would be my oldest son's first time and we had a blast! He ran around the kiddie pool until he was bored out of his mind. Then we hit the spray tower and shot a few teenagers with water rifles. After that we floated around the main pool on a giant raft. To end the day we hit the lazy river that wasn't very lazy. There were points along the way that bottle-necked and made for a very fast moving stream. My son decided that I was a leather-back sea turtle and he was on a Diego adventure! Needless to say we did that about twenty times.



Mrs. Cyber and I ended the weekend with ice cream and a DVD after the kids were in bed. It was nice to have some quiet time with my lady, but we sacrificed sleep and a clean house to do it. All in all I give the weekend two thumbs up!

Taking Care of Business - Part 3

I hate sitting in meetings. What I hate most are meetings that have no purpose. Meetings that exist just so those attending and running the meetings can feel important.

I've got an interesting situation at my office where a co-worker feels compelled to create work around an issue that really is none of her concern. Our supervisor has told us that this issue is being taken care of by another department and that we should focus on our jobs and expect some results on this issue soon. Nevertheless, my co-worker wants results NOW and is dead set on getting everyone involved in our department (accept our supervisor). So she scheduled a meeting. It's never more obvious that this is a pointless meeting. While my presence was not mandatory, it was requested.

Sometimes your pointless meetings ARE mandatory. In today's installment I'm going to talk about a tried and true way you can avoid attending those meetings that amount to nothing. I like to call this:

- The Conflict Solution -



The first order of business is to make sure you are not expected to present, run, or otherwise contribute in any way to the subject matter of the meeting. If this is the case than proceed with the plan, if not, you're screwed... go to the meeting.

Assuming you know you're going to be an innocent bystander to this office "circle-jerk" you can now begin with your plan. Go check your calendar. Let's say you have another meeting (one of consequence), or a series of meetings later in the week. If there is any opportunity to provide input as to the date and time of the pointless meeting, chime in. Suggest to the organizer that your Thursday is wide open. Then when Thursday arrives you can bail for the more important meeting.

Other examples of conflicting schedules include a meeting with your boss or any other boss up the corporate ladder. Call up the Associate Vice-President and see if you can schedule some time. Nobody will fault you for skipping out of a minuscule little staff meeting when the AVP is expecting you!

Finally there is the silver bullet of "get out of jail free" cards - The client meeting/phone-call. If you feel that you would rather jump off a tall building than attend this dumb-ass meeting, then simply bail. Tell them you had to take an important client phone-call. Better yet, leave the office for an hour and go see a client on-site. The bottom line is you don't have to subject yourself to every excruciating little pow-wow that comes up when you know that it will never amount to anything. Your time and sanity is worth far too much. There it is another easy yet fun way of working around stupid people in your office. Much love to you all!

It's all in the strategy

Last week in Finland the annual Wife Carrying World Championship was held. The winning couple received the wife's weight in beer and five times her weight in cash. So what would your strategy be? Would you slim down for the race to increase your chances at victory or would you "swing for the fences" and bulk up in the hopes of taking home that many more pounds in cold hard lovingly beautiful cash... and beer?

clip of the event in action

Who would have thought... A Classic!

Everyone knows I'm a work-out buff. I'm into pumping a little iron every now and then. Mind you, I was a shade more athletic in my youth but I like to think I can keep up even today. I remember back when I was just getting started and those thirty minute weight training shows were all the craze!

My favorite was Flex Appeal... because of the articles!

Anyway, what ever happened to Kiana Tom? I'm not really sure. All I know is that ESPN was a weekday morning staple on my TV until it got moved to ESPN2. Then ESPN2 became a weekday morning staple. Then it disappeared. Today I went back to the gym for the first time since my second child was born in March and I am pleasantly surprised to see none other than Kiana herself greeting me a hearty good morning on ESPN Classic. Finally, a reason to tune-in!

Punch?

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

crap x3

dead x2

punch x1

Please bring your seat to an upright position.

Last year I talked about The Stupid, Crazy, and Selfish. Today I'd like to share one such story about the before mentioned "Selfish".

It was a sunny Thursday afternoon and that meant I was leaving SoTex to head back for my home in NoTex on the lovely Southwest Airlines. I had my work notes in hand and was conscientiously reading them in my lap, as I have learned that the pilot is unable to get the plane off of the tarmac if my tray table is down. Now other members of The Quad poke a little fun at ol' Cyber for being "Mr. Corporate Guy". If that is the case than the gentleman sitting to my right made me look like a Casual Friday All-Star. This guy was the whole package: gold cuff-links, Armani suit, and slicked-back-hair. Of course he had his seat leaned back, his tray table down and his wireless laptop burning up the information super-highway!

It's one thing if you're stupid. I can almost abide the stupid. They don't know how they are supposed to play their part in preparing the plane for departure. But this jerk would actually fold down his laptop screen every time an attendant walked by in an attempt to avoid turning it off.

What an A-hole!

Eventually the hard working young air-hostess was forced to confront the man several times. Eventually he did place his seat in the upright position as well as fold up his tray table. But the guy never turned off his damn computer. Can you imagine the nerve? Everyone could tell that the poor girl was getting really annoyed as she kept walking by to gain his compliance. Eventually the pilot had to stop just short of the runway as the crew confronted the big time businessman as a group.

I'm sure the conversation was a heated one and I wish I had been able to hear, but my ipod volume was up pretty loud. Oh well, at least they finally were able to get that selfish pig to turn off all electronic devices.